It's high time

Why do we blame Mondays?

2012-01-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

The week begins with it and has so many great things to offer, yet most of us hate Mondays! It has reached that point in my life that I have now started feeling bad for Monday. Think about it, it was not as if Monday was given a choice to be some other day, Saturday may be? or even Friday for that matter.

Then why blame the poor chap?

Look at all the good things it gets and then be happy for it, for once! It marks the beginning of a new week. A new week where you will have a good days at work so that you can party hard over the weekend. A week where you will plan what to do in the next few days. This week could also be the one where you might get your salary.

A Monday is the perfect day to begin something new, since it gives you about five days to complete it. A Monday means even if you had pending work on Friday you had a couple of days to cool off and not think about them. Aren't you thankful to a Monday that it comes after two days from Friday?

A Monday is the day when some of us get to meet our office cuties, our crushes in school, our colleagues whom we love to hang out with. A Monday is the day when we are sure we won't be drinking too much alcohol on a Sunday, so no hangover. A Monday is the day when we can log on to Facebook and check what the world did over the weekend and ponder over that.

A Monday has so much to offer that it really feels wrong to 'hate' it or have the blues on the first day.

Stop doing it, for my sake, for Monday's sake?

God, you cheated on me!

2011-12-26T23:37:00.000-08:00

Again and again and again. Why does this keep happening with me? Do I attract only a certain kind of people or is it one of your tricks to make me stronger?

I've had enough, I do not need this.

Things were moving smoothly, a little quick by my standards, yet quite well. After a long time I saw things going in my favour and was anticipating greater results.

But she did exactly what by now I've been accustomed to. Use me as a throw-away pillow. Hold me when you're scared, snuggle upto me when you want to get cozy, lie on me when you need a friend and throw me at the instant you see a different room!

I thought I had made a deal with you God. I thought we had a pact. I thought you'd keep your promise. I thought you'd understand.

She meant a lot to me, she could've been the one. All was not to be and we ended up on the opposite sides of the road.

She is going her way and has asked me not to look for her. I am left clueless without a map and have been asked to find my way.

Nahin socha tha kabhi

2011-11-24T02:56:00.000-08:00

Nahin socha tha kabhi ki yeh din bhi aayega,
Tumhe dard ho yeh hamari khwaish hogi,
Dard tumhe hoga aur mazza humein aayega,

Tumhe dard mein rote bilakhte dekhenge,
Man hi man khoob hum hasenge,
Aur yeh dua bhi karenge ki yeh din kal phir aaye

It's slow

2011-11-18T02:40:00.000-08:00

Things are moving slower than usual,
I feel a little detached,

A strange feeling has gripped me
and now I want to relax.

The surroundings have changed,
The expectations have risen

I am supposed to take it up a few notches,
Yet the bricks are missing, the cement is gone

Someone somewhere just does not want
for me to succeed or continue for long

But I will fight and not let them win,
Because I haven't learnt to give in,

I try and do whatever it takes
to make work and life fun always

This is no different but all the same
A win, a win, a win - that's all in this game!

It has just started

2011-11-17T04:29:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I complete a month at my new job and things have just started to get going. Work is happening at a very slow pace. I am caught dozing off in office quite a lot. I am not sure this time like it used to happen in class, I cannot run away unscathed.

The reasons for these could be many, the lack of sleep, general boredom due to not being given enough to do, may be I do not like the job here as much.

Things have been a little odd here. I like my profile and I know there could be a great challenge in months to come and its a great industry and a real good place to start from scratch and build a team. In short, a great learning experience. Yet, somewhere I am not as confident about this job just as yet.

Let's see, today a small interaction with one of the guys did get me excited once again but not as much to get rid of this fear.

There are fun things happening around - like that Phalguni Pathak ringtone a colleague had, then this spring-bed crunching sound, mangal bhavan amangalaaa bhavaaaaa - ringtone....stupid girl flirting, these characters help me have a smile around here. But, I am yet to go miss work!

I took a day off and was not feeling as guilty of having missed something. Hopefully, things will change in days to come...

The grown-up!

2011-11-09T22:12:00.000-08:00

Torn jeans has given way to formal pants, clean-shaven tidy gelled hair have shown the door to unkempt ruffled hair. Loose t-shirts with silly one-liners are passe and crisp striped shirts are the in-thing. Stupid kitos with socks are a thing of the past and black leather shoes now adorn the wardrobe.

Funky looking bar-stool-laden office has now been replaced by a simple retractable red and black cushioned chair. A workstation is a luxury and a cubicle is what I have now.

Is it the end of the creative and the beginning of the marketer? Is this growing up or growing old? Is this becoming serious or becoming responsible? Is this a change of responsibilities or change of industry? Is this a change in working or a change in living?

I love the fact that every once a while life puts you in a position where you ask yourself some questions. If you are not asking any questions you are not doing anything risky. And if you are not taking risks, what are you doing then?

Things have changed so much in the last one year that sometimes I myself cannot come to terms with it.

Good or bad only time will tell me and keeping my expectations fairly high I think a mid-term review is only fair. Haha, the marketing lingo! I think I am getting there. Well, it does not matter what I think what really matters is what they think. And once they tell me what they think about this, all that will be cleared.

Now don't ask me what is what!

The dying sport: Cricket

2011-10-20T02:09:00.000-07:00

Most people born post the 1983 World Cup winning India would never have imagined this or would have thought in their wildest dreams that they will see a time when Cricket will be considered a dying sport in India!

As hard it is to believe for a super cricket fanatic like me, it is even harder to imagine the plight of those who are playing the sport currently and hoping to break into the most glamorous profession in India after acting, in India atleast.

Since my trip to the land of the queen where yours truly spent a good year hoping to play the sport at some level in the country of its birth! Sadly though the locals of Yorkshire too had few people interested in the sport. My first few days in Leeds, West Yorkshire told me that England has become more of a football nation than cricket. Every sports shop I visisted had big banners and full size posters of Rooney, Cole, Lampard, etc and not one picture of any cricketer.

In the entire year all I saw with regards to cricket and its players were a few Graeme Swann ads of a certain juice company and one of Kevin Pietersen endorsing some brand. Yorkshire, if some of you do not know is the 'Mumbai' of English cricket. Some of the finest cricketers have been part of the Yorkshire team and Yorkshire takes great pride in its stars. It was a great example of hard core British values as for a long time it did not entertain foreign cricketers in its team. A lot of the other counties had stared importing foreign talent but not the Yorkshire men. Our very own Sachin Tendulakr was the first international cricketer ever to have played for Yorkshire county.

Coming back to our discussion, the Headingley stadium too had a dull look about it during the year and even though it had county matches played regularly I never really saw the tradition or culture it was so famous for.

Now, back in India, I have noticed the interest levels for the sport have gone down miserably. Blame it on the overdose in the last couple of months or general losing of interest. What is funny about this dying interest is that it seems to affect more people living in cities. Football has consistently been surging as a sport in India and now its giving cricket a tough competition.

Since my return to Mumbai I have been dying to lay hands on a bat and tonk the ball beyond the boundary, yet I have been unsuccessful at finding someone to run over and bowl the ball at the other end. There was a time during my school days when we used to have three teams each of 7-8 players playing on open grounds and now just about a decade later am having trouble to find 3 people willing to even say yes for playing it!

Agreed that most people of my age are working and are at mid-management to senior level jobs but interest is also one thing. Have tried cajoling some youngsters in my building to join me for a game of under-arm cricket, promoising them that I would play football with them if thet did so and yet I was disappointed!

Today, one of my friends got tickets for the match on Sunday between India and England at the recently revamped Wankhede stadium. We accidentally ended up buying a couple of extra tickets and now are having trouble in finding takers. Their excuse: Do not want to 'waste' my Sunday, seven hours is too long for a sport, who will come that far 'just' to watch a match, 'T20 hai kya?. What match? Who is playing? England is in India, weren't we there a couple of days back? Woh chod, Rugby Finals dekhte hain!

I am surprised! I am shocked! I am disappointed! I am sad!

There was a time when the entire country knew where was India playing, what were the game timings and what was the score...at any given point of time. Catch a security guard who is fast asleep and ask him for the score and he would promptly say...Sachin batting kar raha hai, 200-2. Ask some random people in a train, boss score kya hua hai? and he will frantically send an SMs to the service provider for an updated scorebaord and then proudly show it to you once received.

From that to a time when people know when Manchester United is playing their next game or what is the latest tattoo on Beckham's body but they are not sure if Sachin is even in the playing XI or not!

Cricket indeed is a dying sport now in this country and I won't be surprised if my son (One day I shall have that too) gets up and asks me, dad, what is this long wooded thing that you have on your desk full of signatures of some - J. Kallis, R. Dravid and A. Kumble?

A little sweet, a little sour

2011-09-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

It has been one complete year. Life has taken a complete turn, I started off as being unemployed and looking to spend a lot of my money on what seemed like a good education and something that would help me take the next step in my career.

I was all set to step in the land of the Queen and start what would have been the start of my rule. I am back to the country I took birth in, still unemployed, the Queen has taken a big chunk of my savings, I have gained some knowledge which I might have done had I stayed back and done some small time course from some University in India!

Yet, all is not lost and I still do not regret this experience. It gave me a lot more than what I expected of it. It failed to deliver what it promised and yet it delivered things that were not part of the contract. Ahhaa..contract! One word that has not left my life so far and has different meanings for me for different reasons. Anyway, getting back, Leeds was an unforgettable experience and one that has left a deep mark.

The day I landed in Leeds and started spending the money, it was a very different experience. I was not comfortable with the thought of spending almost 3 times of what I had earned so far in a country where I will be forced to stay for atleast a year.

The first few months I spent miserly, saving every penny and writing about every pound that I used up. Slowly, things go better and I got a better hold of myself and my habits.

Now back in the city and I feel people here are so poor and unlucky. Having seen youngsters spend pounds as if they were actually making more money if they spend more, I felt the people here could be given a little more for their efforts. I saw this beggar kid who was singing to me that he wanted to eat rice and dal. I know very well that money given to him might not go there yet my heart melted at his innocent look and smile. I handed him a one rupee and a two rupee coin. I thought it would make him really happy and he would be elated. He was happy nonetheless but the next moment he was seen at the next rickshaw trying to convince another man to let him eat dal and rice.

The rickshaw I sat in had a little tiff with a rickshawalla ahead of him as he banged his vehicle and broke his side view mirror. The fight lasted a good 10 minutes and all I did was observe. I did not utter a word in support of either of them and just saw my meter rising with alarming speed. It did not bother me much as I knew that as much as they fought it was obvious that the other guy would not give him any damages as he was too poor and could not afford a cut from his meagre salary. A little later when I got off, I saw the meter rating and it was much more than what it should have been, I promptly took the cash out and gave him the money and did not bother asking to reduce it for the time wasted at the signal.

I did not do him a favour, nor am I saying that I am a generous guy. I just thought to myself, a few bucks here and there might not make a big difference to me, but I know this rickshawalla will feel happy that his amount was not reduced and he got a little more than what he would have.

To see people spending money like there really is no tomorrow and to come back and see people being happy at having made a little extra. I am back in the country, am back to where I belong, and yet I ain't happy.

This small little incident made me think, is it a little sweet or is it a little sour!

Long time coming

2011-08-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

I do not know when did I decide this but it seems I am eventually heading back home. One year of staying abroad, making your own decisions - of what to eat and when to sleep! A year of not having to tell your parents when you're going back home, rather letting your flatmates know you are home at 4 in the morning when you try to enter without letting anyone know and yet those stupid whispers wake everyone up! A year of drinking at 11 in the morning and then saying, this country is stupid, who offers beer at 11 in the morning...!

I can keep these coming all day, just cannot afford to do that at the moment though. I am, atleast supposed to be working on my dissertation and be completing my literature review. Lucky that my group mates do not know about this blog nor do they follow it.

Well, to get back to the topic, I have finally decided to head back and not waste my time looking for a job here in this recession-affected country.

It was a tough decision. To choose between a life I have never had so far to a city, country, place where I have stayed all my life and took a break from just to get a better control of my life. The decision was between choosing a lifestyle and choosing job satisfaction. I of course chose the latter.

It is not that a job here in this country would not have given me job satisfaction, but a job back home will have me more interested. The industry I am looking at is at a more nascent stage in my country than it is here. I ideally wanted to learn from the experts here and may be in another 5-10 years go back and apply the same when the users are closer to maturity.

I do not know whether this is the right decision or not, whether this reduces my chances of ever working internationally or not. I have no clue, and I am slightly worried about my future. For the first time in my life I have no clue where my life is going. I do not know if it is headed in the right direction or is it going elsewhere.

In GOD I trust and I know there is someone up there who is looking at me and is helping me. He has been there all this while and will be by my side now too.

It's been a year since I went back home. A year since I met my friends. A year since I saw my parents. A year since I tasted the smell of fresh rainwater over mud. A year since I drove on Indians roads. It's been a long time coming and I hope it's well worth the wait.

2011-05-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

We Won!!!

2011-04-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

Yes we did it! 2nd April 2011, will never forget this date for the rest of my life. One of the most memorable days of my life. A dream come true not just for the cricketers but for a nation that was starved of a World Cup victory for 28 years. The T20 World Cup victory of 2007 was sweet, but this was sweeter. We played cricket like only we can. Our batting was not at its peak, but our bowling and fielding was. It was really nice to see everyone chipping in, diving around and throwing themselves on the field. The passion, the commitment, the motivation, the momentum, everything was there.

The players dedicated the victory to Sachin but Sachin dedicated it to the country.
The players that made it possible - in their batting order style
Sachin Tendulkar
Virender Sehwag
Gautam Gambhir
Virat Kohli
Yuvraj Singh
Mahendra Singh Dhoni (C & WK)
Suresh Raina
Yusuf Pathan
R Ashwin
Piyush Chawla
Harbhajan Singh
Ashish Nehra
Munaf Patel
Shantakumaran Sreesanth
Zaheer Khan

Coach - Gary Kirsten

Dhoni had been saying for long that Yuvraj's form would be very crucial to India's chances in the World Cup and how right was he! Yuvraj was the Man of the Tournament and rightly so. Scoring 362 runs and picking up 15 wickets, Yuvraj helped India in many ways. Picked up wickets in the middle overs which I think is the most important thing in any form of cricket. If you can find yourself a bowler who can pick up wickets every once a while after your main bowlers have finished their spells then you have a great chance of winning the game. I think this was the aspect that made us tick in this World Cup.

We were struggling with a back up bowler in the initial stage of the World Cup but as the tournament progressed Dhoni started to show more confidence in Yuvraj's bowling and he repaid the faith. Sachin's 482 runs too were helpful but as has been the case, he did not score in the most crucial tie. He did bat well against the Pakistanis, but everyone will agree his 85 off 115 was one of his worst World Cup innings. Luckily for us, it ended in a victory and those runs turned out to be quite significant.

Sehwag failed to ignite after a stupendous 175 against the Bangladeshis in the first game and so did Virat. Although, his 35 in the final will still be remembered along with the unsung hero - Gautam Gambhir who ended with 393 runs and was 6th on the list of the top run-getters of World Cup 2011. In 9 games he scored 4 fifties and scored at a fair clip with a strike-rate of 85.

Zaheer Khan was the pick of the bowlers with 21 wickets and an economy of under 5. He was the reason why India could claw back in most of the games except the final. He was due for a bad game after having a surreal tournament, doing well every time the captain handed him the ball. Luckily his jinx with the final ended and although he went for a lot of runs in the last two overs we still won!

Harbhajan Singh too came in for a lot of criticism and rightly so. He picked just 9 wickets in 9 games at an economy of 4.48. He did a great job of containing but what we needed from him were wickets. He did exactly that against Pakistan. To be fair, he was trying to do it but the opposition know him too well by now and most play him in a very defensive way. A bowler like him needs to be attacked. R Ashwin was the surprise package and did really well in the few chances that he got. The big disappointment was Piyush Chawla. Highly over-rated according to me, he showed people he had some talent when he got 4 wickets against the Aussies in the warm-up game. The lad needs to work on his variations and also needs to understand that the wrong'un can be an option to the left-hander, not the only delivery possible. Andrew Strauss did his best to remind him of this fact but he did not seem to pick that up.

Truth be told, we urgently need a good leg spinner. Amit Mishra is too slow through the air and these kind of bowlers will only be successful against the Aussies as they have proved before. Hopefully the IPL 2011 will throw up some names.

Munaf Patel and Ashish Nehra till the first few games made people remember Ajit Agarkar. A bowler more known to fuck up at crucial junctures and yet be in the team for mysterious reasons. Munaf Patel lacks the fundamental quality of a fast bowler - body language. He comes across as a bowler who has been slapped on the ass by a sugarcane and a iron rod slotted in the backside and then removed. His expression does not change, be it the first over, the fifth or the last over of a final. The few pleasantries that he exchanged with the on-field batsmen too must have been like - Su kare che? Mane maar nai, Dhoni maaari gaand marse pachi...aavjo!

Ashish Nehra who seemed to have lost some form and direction when brought into the World Cup was a surprise selection in the Indo-Pak clash but saved himself a year of trouble by bowling that crucial 49th over and redeeming himself after what happened in the match against South Africa. He had leaked 16 runs of 4 balls and handed victory to the you-blink-and-I-choke-South Africa! And that too against tail-enders who go by the names of Robin Peterson and Johan Botha, both of who are now hailed as heroes in their motherland. They are the only Test nation to have beaten us in this tournament.

A tired lot this must be after a rigorous 6 weeks of handling pressure at its peak. The shutter bugs will not leave their side and they would not mind it too. They have done what Indian teams in the past 28 years could not. They deserve all the credit and footage they are getting. Not sure if they needed to be given extra monetary benefits or any declaration of special wards. it is all our tax money at the end of the day. We should have some say in it, don't you think?

All will not be forgotten very soon but they will force us to. The IPL is here, you know!

The Night

2011-03-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I looked up,
Up in the night sky,
It's filled with golden stars,
That are shimmering away with a twinkle,

I want to be one with them,
See the world that they get to see,
Ride the night and play with the moon,
Watch as serenity fills the air,

Everyone off, dozing away,
A hard day has just gone past,
Another one stares them in the eye,
Yet without a worry they close their eyes,

But for the stars the day has just begun,
They shall twinkle away all night.
Presenting us with their soothing light,
Playing hide and seek with the moon,

It's the night I have longed for,
But somehow I don't have the time,
To look up and gaze at the sky,
The one that's there will soon pass by.

From stupid to something better

2011-03-16T18:01:00.000-07:00

I still remember my first blog. I had started way back in 2005 on the insistence of a friend. I had no clue what a blog was and what were we supposed to write. At that time I did not even know that I could write.

It's funny how at times I look at my previous posts and now look at some of my articles and actually surprise myself. I have not achieved much in life yet, but am still proud of myself. I look back at myself when I was a 20-year-old guy and look at myself now and I can proudly say - I am much better now. That 20 something could not even have dreamed to have had a life like mine.

What I was back then, I am actually surprised that I have actually done something decent with my life so far. To being a clueless guy with absolutely no ambitions and no worry about the future I can safely say that this guy knows where he is going. People infact follow this guy and want to know how he got here.

My first post was about how I will put up my lame jokes and funny one liners. From that to now having written almost 10-15 poems, some with actually a good theme and emotion attached to it. I might be funny when in person but sometimes the virtual me is way more serious than even I can handle.

From someone whose first attempt at poetry was so bad that may be a second grader would have done better to someone who actually became a writer and was paid to write!! I am happy how things have turned out.

It's good to know I moved from being stupid to someone better.

Kya Khuda, mazzak kar rahe ho?

2011-02-12T23:31:00.000-08:00

Poochta mujhse mera khuda hai,
Poochta mujhse mera khuda hai,
Kya waqt ka hosh hai tumhe?
Kya andaaz hai mahaul ka?
Bewaqt saare kaam karte ho,
Kya tum bhi kabhi soya karte ho?

Jawab mein maine kaha khuda se,
Jawab mein maine kaha khuda se,
Itna mushkil kar diya din guzarna mera,
Har mod par takleef de di,
Joonjh raha hoon main kisi tarah se,
Kya mujhe dekh kar tum kabhi roya karte ho?

Blank

2010-12-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

What is it about you that I miss so much?
What keeps me thinking of you so much?

Last night when I checked my mail,
I searched for one of your old mails,

Read it even though I knew it would hurt,
I think I should delete them and then think may be not,

I sent you a mail to an id you don't check,
And am still hoping you reply within a few days,

I don't know what I am doing,
This is certainly not helping as I keep denying,

I wish to move on and I thought I have,
But everytime this loneliness pushes me back a few years,

I sit and look at those lovely days,
When we sat, talked and you were all ears,

To every little thing I said,
Every little moment was cherished,

God! I have had enough, now just make this stop,
And let me go to where I belong.

Time to hit me

2010-12-14T18:16:00.000-08:00

Don't know why I chose this title
I guess am just lazy and felt like it
To choose a topic that forces me to act
Do something and get rid of this laze

How I do it even I have no clue,
But sometimes shit comes out and its all new,
I make it a point to write a rhyme,
And force it on every line,

A two-liner or a four,
I will write until I get bored,
This is good for a change,
My poetry is not all about the sane,

Sometimes corny, sometimes emotional,
I try hard and make it proportional,
Knowing the language well helps,
Stopping here to ask what else?

Nothing more to write, nothing else to share,
I should have ended before as I said,
But then again, you know me well,
Sometimes I really, really don't care!

End of Part 1

2010-12-14T18:04:00.000-08:00

Add Semester 2 to continue....

Next update: January 24, 2011.

Aah...do not go away, am going to tell you about the highlights of the first semester. Kinda like a recap, eh!

Yeah. So the first part of my PG degree is done and I do not even know where it all went. The semester passed like a breeze. It came, it ruffled a few things and it left.

A different experience altogether I must admit. Looking back now I do realize how things have changed and how they have brought in a change in me. When I first came in here on the 11th of September 2010, I almost like a child left free. I would want to do things just out of curiosity. I would not sleep on time, I ate whatever I felt like, whenever I felt like, bought a lot of things I usually would not. It gave me the kind of freedom I always wanted but never knew I wanted.
I guess most of us go through this phase, some, albeit do it a lot earlier. But as they say, it's never too late.

Well, in my case I have always done things a little later than I should have. So this does not come as a complete surprise. ;)

From my first day when I went to the nearby store to pick up a converter and then buying things I probably would not use until say a few months later, to now having a budget and planning my shopping and even sourcing stuff from only particular shops. I have learnt a lot of things.

I love the fact that during my first week when I did not even know that I was eating half-baked pasta to now almost perfecting it to the T. From not going beyond the simple egg omelette to now having made Gajar ka Halwa. From living a dependent life to living almost on my own. I am really happy and proud of myself and would love to continue this trend.

Now that I have lived the life I always wanted to, its time when I take control of my life. Well begun is half done indeed but you must remember that the other half is still to go.

I need to work hard and keep working to make sure this year turns out to be one of my best so far and I only go from strength to strength.

I did not expect this but it has happened. I do not long for my friends as much, I am much more in control of myself and my feelings. I have made some new friends, who I am ready to trust and forge great bonds with. Right now, they might not be at the same level as my other friends but I have started seeing them in a different light.

From mere colleagues from class, to friends I would call up when times are rough. From flatmates to real buddies. From people I just want to know so that I have some 'firang' friends to now I need them and miss them when they are not around.

These three months have changed a lot of things.

It is vacation time here in Leeds, but back in India it is prime time. People are at their busiest, socializing, attending weddings, making plans for the new year, some new year resolutions. And here, I am trying to wind up my year. Friends have gone to meet family, people are getting serious about their studies and exams. It's funny how things are different on this side of the Indian Ocean.

Right then, it's time for me to get back to work. To promise myself to land a good job here, to study hard and get a distinction, to now make full use of my life and the licence I have to live the life I always wanted to.

This blog is more for me than for the readers. It is for me to remind myself of what I have come here to accomplish.

Thanks guys,

love,

Raging Optimist

Zindagi pechida hai

2010-11-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

Meri hi zindagi hai lekin is mein main kam hoon,
Mujh mein, tum ho kar bhi tum nahin ho,
Tujh mein main nahin ho kar bhi main har jagah hoon,

Tum chahe maano ya na maano isse,
Lekin tumhari yaad mein aaj bhi main hoon,
Yakeen nahin hota agar, toh kisi gair se pooch lo,
Us mein bhi agar main na nazar aaya, toh phir kehna,

Hum dono ki chahat ek thi magar thikane alag,
Baat wohi thi magar bahane alag,
Main tumse kaafi kuch keh gaya,
Magar sunne mein hi kami reh gayi,

Tum kehti rahi har dum jo tumne aakhir tak kaha,
Magar main wohi sun raha tha jo mujhe tha manzoor,

Aaj jab mudkar peeche dekha maine,
Toh jaana ki humne rahein hi alag chuni thi,

Main aaj bhi tumhe sun sakta hoon,
Isliye nahin ki tum paas ho,
Isliye kyunki main apna ek hissa tumhare paas chod aaya hoon...

Yeh meri zindagi hai?

2010-11-07T19:13:00.000-08:00

Meri zindagi mein main kahan hoon?

Itna sama chuki ho mere andar tum,
Ki ab mujhmein bhi sirf tum ho,
Khud mein hi dhoondhta hoon tumhe,
Phir bhi kahin na milti tum ho,

Baat karne ki koshish jab ki maine,
Tum mujhe mein hi chip gayi kahin,
Maine bahut pukaara lekin,
Ek awaaz na suni tumne,

Aaj bhi dastak deta hoon main apne dil pe,
Is umeed mein ki shayad tum jawab dogi,
Kae saal beet gaye, yeh aadat gayi nahin ab tak,
Jawab toh nahin aaya magar, iss aadat ne ek nishaan chod diya dil par,

Ab main bhool chuka hoon tumhe lekin,
Dil pe reh gaya jo nishaan uska kya karun,
Jab jaana hi tha tumhe zindagi se meri,
Toh kambakht dil ko bhi saath le jaati,

Na nishaan ki takleef hoti, na jeene ki...

The fake weather man!

2010-10-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Leeds has been cold for a few days and Tuesday was no different. Coming back from a friend's house after a session of pan cakes, wine and some wolf, the 5 minute walk from Montague Burton to Leodis seemed like eternity. The chilly weather did not help and for the first time in my life I felt jeans was not thick enough!

It seemed as if somehow the cold breeze was seeping in through my pants. Thankfully I wasn't wearing one of my 'hole' wala jeans. To the surprise of my dear friends and family I did not carry any of 'those' with me.

So anyway, back to what I was talking about, the weather. So it was quite cold on Tuesday night and I was expecting today to be as cold. But to my surprise when I woke up today I felt colder than what I usually do so I decided to check the temperature on the computer. To my horror it read 0 degree!! I was flummoxed and my first reaction was to look outside the window to check for snow! Yeah, come on now, when you come from Mumbai or India for that matter and realize it is 0 degree you will hope there is snow. But surprise, surprise! There was sunshine! The sun was beating down and there was no hint of snow anywhere.

A tad disappointed I was a bit relieved as well. Was thinking the time to wear inners and gloves hasn't come as yet, but the weather man almost had me there. Yet, taking all precautions I decided to wear four layers and a scarf to keep me warm. As it happened, when I stepped out of the building it did not seem as chilly.

My phone too was saying it was 1 degree so I really did not know how what to say. And before you jump and say that may be my three layers had a say in this? No, it wasn't that either. IT JUST WASN'T AS COLD!

Hut saala, aise hi expectation high kiya!! :P

When life gives you a lesson, pay attention!

2010-10-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

I do not know what I was thinking when I decided to take up this course here in the University of Leeds.

I was all very happy about having to live all on my own, cooking my own food and leading my life the way I always wanted to. Little did I know that life had more challenges than I thought it did!

Let's begin with the first few days and my first few visits to the supermarket. After spending my first few hours in my room looking at my desk, cupboard and bathroom I decided to open my suitcase and set stuff. I began with promptly tagging my love letter from my dear friend Megha. Which made me realise I needed some pins to put stuff on the soft-board. I realized that the laptop will soon be dying if I did not manage to get its converter. This led me to my first visit to the closest supermarket called Londis. Londis near Leodis, is that a coincidence? I don't know and I don't care!

So, thus began my search and should I say my poor foresightedness. As I entered the shop I realised it had a lot of stuff that I will need to survive the next few days, so I decide I shall indulge in a little bit of grocery shopping. I picked up bread, milk, juice bottle, pins, garbage bags, some sauce, etc.

As always happens, you always tend to buy the thing you need most...never! I forgot to buy the converter I was looking for and instead bought a lot of stuff I could have done without. Well, to be honest, atleast could have done without it for a few hours!

Which brings me to my most favoured shopping destination - Morrisons. The supermarket which is every students' dream and home! I seriously feel that once all of us leave Leeds we will have to de-morrisonise ourselves in order to live anywhere else in this world!

Anyway, coming back to my shopping spree. My next destination was Morrisons as I declared earlier. I was told to buy some duvet and pillows by our taxi guy and my friend Mej. So I jumped right away when I saw some great deals on bedding, etc. I decided to throw that on my trolley. Next came, actually let's skip ahead because the list of things that I saw and I bought will cross the word limit of any blog ever seen or written in the history of a student life. Ok, am exaggerating but trust me you do not want to hear it, rather read it.

So after I am done with the billing I realize I have a little over 4 bags to carry back, I am tired as hell after a long day, i have not eaten lunch and yeah, saving the best for the last, I have to climb uphill for about 20 mins to reach my destination - Leodis!!

So chindi as I have always been and I take pride in that, I decided to walk. Don't worry, I reached my place in one piece. Albeit, with 7 breaks and thank god for the bottles of mineral water that I bought, which by the way I finished before I could reach home, I survived the drain and also caught the fancy of an Indian couple who smiled seeing me and commented after seeing the big bags and the sweat on my brow when the weather in the city was making others wear three layers, "Indian ho? College student, aaah!! Nice, nice! See you!"

So the biggest lesson that I have learnt since coming to Leeds, never go to Morrisons to buy stuff that you cannot carry back. Two, always take friends along when you go there, so you can always share a cab, share the bag and of course, put your stuff in their bag and take it only when you reach home! ;)

As someone once smartly said, always share your knowledge, it will only multiply, not decrease. So I would Smart Alec'ly tell any random stranger I would meet in my student accommodation or in random international meets to never go to Morrisons alone and definitely not buy more than two bags. Of course, most of the times I would be laughed at, yet I would not buckle down and keep reiterating the fact.

So, coming to why I began writing this blog. Well, one incident that just occurred a few minutes back with me prompted me to write down a few others that happened just to have a good build up and for you to have some sympathy towards me as a first timer.

It all began with me having to wear an old pair of socks today morning for my squash appointment. I could have just finished it at 'in the morning' but I added the squash part to show-off! I was wondering how come I was running out of socks to wear since I assumed I had enough to last me more than three weeks. Little did I know that I had already used up around 9 pairs and if I did not clean them urgently I would have to either buy new pairs or just wear old ones. Which is fine by me, but over the years I have kind of started to feel for the opposite gender and their nasal powers and hence would not dare to do the latter.

So, I decided to wash them along with a few underwear and thus I put them all on the floor in the shower room and switched the shower on. I also put some Ariel washing powder so that it could lather up. I was hoping that the granules would mix with the water and I could just soak them up for a bit and hang them all around the room and wait for them to dry. Which is where in-experience comes in, I did not know that the granules would not mix properly unless and until I put them all in a bucket of water and clothes. So now I have a bathroom with 9 pairs of socks, 5 undies, 3 boxers all half wet, half lathered and no place to have bath!

This is the end of this blog, I can only update you about the situation once I find a solution for it or if one of my followers or readers is kind enough to give me a tip!!!

Thanks for reading, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this piece and hope to write some more interesting ones soon!

Adios.

I fall in love too easily...

2010-10-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Funny but true,
I can fall in love with you,
I don't even have to try,
I will start thinking before you ask why,
My friends will not be surprised,
When I tell them I have found someone nice,
The same story will repeat itself,
I will like her and she will abandon me,
Find someone else and give that a try,
Come back to me when she needs a shoulder to cry,
I was, I am and will always be,
The nice guy that you want to see,
To help you forget him and cheer you up,
And rise with a smile when you wake-up,
But am tired now of being him,
Just want to live up again,
Can't help but think of love,
I know I will just never give up!

Thoughts

2010-10-15T19:33:00.000-07:00

You are looking for an apple and I am an orange.

When you love someone, do not let them go.

Can someone be as rude as she was?

Tere jaane se, main adhura reh gaya! - This sums up the feeling I have right now.

Living it, loving it!

2010-10-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

Don't know where to begin this one from. To think of it, I did not ever imagine I would be doing this. Staying abroad, doing my masters in a foreign country. Life...is in my control.

This is something I always wanted but never knew. Something I learnt thanks to my biggest lesson in life, engineering! Yes, its true, my biggest failure in life has been the biggest lesson for me. It let me find who I really was, it let me dare to take a step back to take two steps ahead. It allowed me to take decisions for myself. It was then that I realized that I wanted to live life my way. When I could make my decision and be happy or sad about it. Be able to blame myself if I had to for anything that was to happen from there on. And I am loving it, living it.

From that time to now, things have changed, but for the better. Life has improved at every stage and it has only given me reasons to smile. I like it this way.

Now I am controlling my life more than I ever have. Earlier I would just do what I would like to but yet be dependent in a way. Now, not anymore. I am liking the part where I wake myself up, I feed myself, I clean up the place and I dirty it. I have to look for everything that I have and everything that I do not. I have to go out and get things what I do not have but want. It has never been better.

Yes, I do miss a few things. Who am I lying to, I miss a lot of things, but then this is something I am willing to give up anything for. I have my freedom!

Have been thinking for a while that I would write about my observations and picks from Leeds. I thought that would be my first blog piece once I reach here. But then again am happy that I have the ability to surprise myself.

Am going to make double use of this blog. I have already written what I wanted to so now am going to use the same blog to talk about the things that I find worth writing about.

First and foremost, getting used to Toilet Paper. It's different, it's weird and at times it seems unclean but that is how it is going to be. Sorry, gross start!
I do not like as many options as you have here. Like choosing potatoes - you have baking potato, baby potato, new potato, large potato and god knows what all!

Electric plates - it took me three weeks to realize the vegetables that I was cooking were undercooked because the electric plates take much longer than what LPG would.

Duvets - I hate them. They are the worst things that could happen to a college student. They are
way too comfortable to allow someone to get out of them. They need to be discontinued with immediate effect.

Mobile phones - not just any of them. There are it seems just two brands in the world now - its either BlackBerry or Apple iPhone. People want it, people have it and people crave it. These are the only three types of people that I see around me now and I am fed-up of them. I hate them, I detest them.

Right now I cannot think of anymore, but I swear when I have a good big list I am going to come back and list them down to remind myself of them.

Technology, I hate you!

2010-08-13T13:08:00.001-07:00

All things have their ups and their downs, you like them for a reason and you hate them for another.

Technology too has improved our lives in a great way but today I just want to talk about the bad things that it has done.

Gone are the days when we had one landline, one number. Everyone had to call you from 'their' landline to your landline to speak to anyone in the family. Infact the word landline came only after we started having a mobile phone. Now everyone has it, but it restricts us. We speak to only that person whom we have called, others remain out of the conversation. Gone are the days when to speak with a kid, you had to first speak with the elders, then the middle one and then the youngest. That struggle, that patience, is no more.

Gone are the days when to wish someone on their birthday you would either call at midnight and wake up the entire house or wait till the next morning and wait in line.

Now you can set an alarm on your phone, you can pre-load a card on a website and it will be delivered, you can send a simple cheap SMS. The personal touch has gone, the little effort that you had to make to call up a person has been snatched away by Technology.

Gone are the days when with each Rakhi, sisters would send a small letter, a note to say hi and ask about your health. Thanks to the electronic age, we send e-rakhis. Some sisters still send physical rakhis but the letter has taken a backseat.

Who wants to take the pain to jot down a few lines. They think, didn't we just speak to him last night, so what's the point of a letter. Sometimes, you express more in a letter than you ever would in person or on phone. Try it.

Facebook, another invention from the labs of a certain guy called 'Technology'. People leave a scrap on your wall, they peek at your albums, they keep tabs on your status messages and changing relationship statuses. All in the name of 'socializing'. The gossip mongers are beggars now, they hate this subtle stalking websites. They allow you to find about people with the click of a button, there is no strategies involved anymore, there are no rumours being spread, the aunties of the worlds are cursing Facebook, they've ruined their chai-time talks.

Everyone knows everything about everyone. It's become too easy now.

The fun is gone and I don't like it!

The Rains

2010-08-01T12:29:00.000-07:00

Love them, hate them, you can't ignore them, especially when you are in a city like Mumbai. It is just the end of July and the city has already had about 75% of its seasons' quota.

It's not been raining the proverbial cats and dogs but yeah, it has not also stopped in a while. If I am counting it right, it's been almost 9 days since the last dry spell.

Personally, I love the rains, the smell of the first drops on the soil, the greenery it spreads, the fall in temperature, the happy kids jumping in small puddles.

Yes, this blog is more about that. The kids in a puddle and enjoying the rains. The smile that they have and the innocence that they carry.

It was about a few days back, I was on my way to my club to play a game of squash with my buddy. It had just started to rain and I was trying to get my wind-cheater out of the bag. I was about to cross the road when I saw an autorickshaw had got stuck in a small pothole. It was full of muck now due to the on-going Metro work in the area. The rick guy came out trying to free the wheel that had got stuck in the hole.

He was trying to get people's attention to help him out but to no avail. Then suddenly out of nowhere these 7-8 toddlers, dressed in a white and biege school uniform came trudging out of the rickshaw and started pushing it. It was a sight to behold.

As I made my way towards them to give them a hand, I realised they were so excited at being able to get wet in the rains in the name of pushing their vehicle that they actually managed to get it out of the hole!

And the next scene was something right out of a scripted children's show. The kids were literally basking in their glory, rather getting drenched in it! They all left their bags in the rick and were jumping with joy and the innocent smiles made the people looking at them remember their childhood when they would find reasons to get wet in the rains and enjoy the weather.

It was one of the most beautiful sights I have seen in a city which is so busy in itself that it hardly looks at people around.

The rains made me realise one thing, if it is summer that gets people's tempers high it is the rains that gets them down...and how!

The Glove Lives On - In Memory of Michael Jackson

2010-06-24T05:09:00.000-07:00

The Glove Lives On - In Memory of Michael Jackson

Killing the nice guy...

2010-06-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

Enough I've had,
Enough of this,
I cannot take it even a little bit,

When you want to laugh,
when you want to have fun,
you come back to me and say let's get this done!

but when it's not needed,
you think oh i have not pleaded
so it's all hunky dory coz he's not bleeded,

It is not that common, it does not happen with everyone and it is a big deal,
think i should just tape my mouth and put a seal,
coz if I cannot deal with this one I don't think i can ever put an end to this,

the decision has been made,
I will not put a lid to this,
no more being the nice guy, no more being the good friend,

am not going to be the shoulder you need,
nor am the friend you need,
I am just going to the guy who do not want to meet!

Sometimes

2010-06-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

In love with a face,
In love with a smile,
If I get to see her I stand up and rise,
If not then I try to not think of her otherwise,
She is close to me and yet she seems distant,
Her one look and I would give up my existence,
Weekdays go in thinking about her,
Weekends go in talking about her,
Days, weeks, months have passed,
Still no surety of the future or the past,
Want to just hold her hand,
Hold it tight and say it all,
Don’t know why there is a fear,
If she says no, won’t get to go anywhere near,
At times I think I may not be right,
And then I feel I should just tell her with all my might,
Sometimes a lot can change over a yes or no,
My only problem is I don’t think I can let her go,
The time is right, the time is now,
Hope I do this soon just don’t know how!

One liners

2010-05-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

When you get rich, you start getting the things you always wanted...as gifts!

Stupid is just a feeling.

Why can't I ever find a razor that will last more than 2 weeks?

Never feel unloved, coz no matter who you are and what you do, someone, somewhere always has a crush on you.

If life wasn't complex we wouldn't need alcohol!

Come to the IPL office

2010-05-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

The exact same words changed my life in a matter of seconds. From sitting at home for months, doing crappy little projects to make ends meet, suddenly God...and am not referring to Sachin, had this sweet little gift for me.

It was like he felt bad for me on losing my job and opting for cricket and he decided to do justice.

What does a cric-fanatic want in life? Watch cricket matches, meet the players, get to talk to them, may be even move around and travel with them. Go to the best stadiums in the country to witness the drama unfold right in front of their eyes.

And now how about if I tell you that you do all this and you get paid for it? Well, it's nothing short of a dream. And a dream it was, from the first day to the Final of IPL 2010.

A dream, a unforgettable memory, an opportunity of a lifetime. It's all combined in one. The feeling is such that I really cannot express it in words. The more I write about it, the less I think I am writing.

I do not know where to begin and what to write about. Should I talk about my first encounter with some of the legends of the game or should I talk about the newcomers who I featured? Or should I talk about the predictions I made or the analysis that I made which got great appreciation.

Should I talk about the chance to shake hands with the God or should I talk about seeing the best of international talent in one place. Should I talk about the experience or should I talk about the excitement.

The topics are endless. But write I shall, because I won't do justice to my blog if I don't share my feelings.

Somewhere in between

2010-05-03T14:44:00.001-07:00

It's what I am feeling for the past one and a half years. Is it her or is it me, I don't know whose responsible for this but the fact remains that I am still clueless. Why do women play such games and keep giving signals? Its neither this nor that.

The girl I think I like at times behaves like my girlfriend and at times is as cold as a freezer! She just won't respond. At times I feel I really have something going for me here and at times I feel like an out cast.

Simple things in life just do not seem to happen in my life! But may be it's just God's way of getting back at me for the pranks I play on people.

So there it is then, we are good! ;)

Foreign IPL players shifting to India permanently!

2010-02-22T03:30:00.000-08:00

Now before you start wondering, who, what, where and why. Let me tell you that it’s just a wish! They say wishes come true, so we thought what if they do plan to shift to India! How would things change for them? Our first and foremost task would be to give them an Indian name for them to blend easily in the Indian culture. Players playing for a particular team would definitely have a flavour of the state in their names. This would only make them more popular within the team and city they belong to! So we quickly noted down some names of popular cricketers and rechristened them and indianized their names! Take a look at some:
Jean Paul Duminy (MI) – Jagan Pav Duminikar!
Sanath Jayasuriya (MI) – Sainath Jayasurwekar!
Kieron Pollard (MI) – Kiran Patil
AD De Villiers (DD) – AB Dilli waale!
Dirk Nannes (DD) – Dirki Nannhe
Kemar Roach (DC) – Oomar Roz
Herschelle Gibbs (DC) – Harshal Ahmed Gibbs
Brendon McCullum (KKR) – Arindon McCukerjee!
Owais Shah (KKR) – Owais Sengupta
Graeme Smith (RR) – Graam Singh Rathod
Shaun Tait (RR) – Shaan Tatte Singh Sharma
Cameron White (RCB) – Kumara Whitelingam Naidu
Ross Taylor (RCB) – Rassi Prasad Taiylar
Makhaya Ntini (CSK) – Maikhayan Namboodripal Venkatini
Jacob Oram (CSK) – Jaikobi Venugopal Oraram
Shaun Marsh (KXIP) – Shaninder Singh Matta
James Hopes (KXIP) – Jasmeet Singh Hoshiyaar!

Play fearless cricket guys!

2010-01-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

Same old feeling? Yes, in some ways it was. Thissara Perera it was! You could see the fear Indian bowlers had even before he had faced one ball. Dhoni had his homework done, and had set him an legside field in the powerplay and had all three fielders on the legside and asked the bowlers to bowl on the legs.

Its difficult anyway to bowl in the slog overs and to top it you ask them to bowl in an area of 6 inches??? Dhoni would know if he was a fast bowler!! Not his mistake, a senior maybe a Zak should've told him it's gonna be difficult. We bowled to his strengths and he played to our weakness. he cleared his front leg and would attempt to get bat to ball and aim on the offside...that's all it took and the ball would speed away to the boundary!

All i want to ask is, why could we not make him struggle. In his entire innings of 15 balls, Zak bowled one bouncer! Why did we not try some more of that? Some chin music when the pressure was on them could have done it. Instead we were scared of him and were trying to bowl fast and yorkers at him while at the other end Samaraweera milked the bowling for some singles managing his century.

Remember the times when we used to bowl to Jayasuriya's strength? Wide outside the off stump and have him caught at 3rd man or point? So, why could not we do the same thing for Perera? He is still new to the game, he could have faltered and given up under pressure...fact remains, we did not test him enough!

Now, let's look at the other side...let's go back home...here's a bowler...a fast bowler who bowled his heart out on a slow Indian wicket and got just rewards...a bowler by the name of Abhimanyu Mithun...this guy bowled as good as some of the top notch fast bowlers I have seen. Some experts do agree with me, if i can quote then i would like show you what Mr. Satish Vishwanaathan had to say about the lad -

on Tuesday it was the turn of 20-year-old speedster Abhimanyu Mithun, who all but sealed the final spot for the hosts with a most impressive display of fast bowling rarely seen on Indian soil.

From TOI - 6th Jan, 2010, Mumbai Edition!

Mithun bowled as fearlessly as he could and got the desired results. He was not afraid of the big occasion or the big match, he did what he knows best...bowl good balls. And that is what we struggled to do.

Agreed that ou bowlers did bowl pretty well and it was the due factor that came in and made it a little easier for the Lankans...but all said and done, we lost and thus we need to look and analyze where did we go wrong...!

The reply

2010-01-01T09:53:00.001-08:00

How is it that you melt my heart
Even though its just the start

How is it that you know just what to say
Is it your flirty and charming ways?

Did you learn it at some school
If you did, I say its cool!

As long as you just use them on me
And just let the other girls be!

Your secret tells me your smitten and so am i
But we are still playing the game..don't know why!!

Guess its cause we don't want it to be a fling
We are both looking for something everlasting

Who knows if we'll get what we are looking for
But as of now we are in an "LDR"!

The Secret

2010-01-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

A secret is what I have for you,
A secret is what i wanna share with you...

But sometimes I feel I should keep it away,
Not tell you for one more entire day!

Keep guessing coz that's the game,
Told you we're Leos but not the same,

Somethings are kept best when hidden,
You of all shouldn't know am smitten,

Oops...I let this one slip...
I should've taped my lip!

You wouldn't have known had I not told,
Now I have no choice but to scold..

Not you or my bloody lip.
But my stupid heart which has given this tip...

That secrets remain secrets only when,
The person you know is more than a friend!

Cricket and Life – The seamless Connection!

2009-11-26T05:52:00.000-08:00

Cricket has always been such an integral part of my life that sometimes I wonder what my life would be without it. No, seriously, it has made such a big impact on my life, it has taught me so many things that I cannot imagine a life without cricket.
Cricket has taught me so much in life, and at times I feel it is cricket that is responsible for who or what I am rather than my education and surroundings. I know it is hard to believe this but I have instances to prove this.
There are a lot of things that I have learnt from cricket that apply to my daily life. Simple things like, the idea to keep innovating, be it your bowling skills by coming up with variations in pace, to variations in the way you hold the ball and release it, to the way you can deliver it, to keep improvising your shots, to keep innovating and staying ahead of the game to be successful.
It was through cricket that I got to know about my leadership skills or the fact that I enjoyed responsibility, or the fact that I had the power in me to lead a pack without being the leader. I had the capability to get the best out of my team and perform at our best especially when the chips are down.
It is during matches in our complex that I along with my team members I too would get so pumped up when we had only a few runs to defend that we would go all out. It was the belief that we had that we can pull it off that made us win more often than not. It is the same thing that I believe in life, that when the chips are down is the time when you need to work the hardest and keep the belief that you will win in the end!! It is these things, these positive thoughts that have kept me in such goo stead all this while and have made me stronger and helped me come up when I was down in the dumps.
Like the time when I had quit engineering to start a new career in Media and start my journey towards a graduation degree right from scratch that I would think that it is like changing your home ground. The pitch conditions will be new, the crowds will be new, but one thing that will be old will be my spirit, will be my attitude and the strong will to perform and do well that will take me through any situation.
After every match I would come back and analyse my day’s performance and see what went wrong and where did I bowl and why was I taken to the cleaners by the batsmen. Same applied to my work, I would sit down and assess my work, how am I doing, what was my best work of the week and stuff. I was trying to keep tabs on my progress and wanted to see if I was improving and learning from my mistakes or not.
I keep thinking of how to bowl, I practice my bowling action at home all the time and have imaginary situations and then would do the bowling keeping the wall as my target. Similarly, I would do so for my work, have imaginary clients and then think of solutions for them and would come up with new ideas. That is how I would prepare for my work and try and get better at it.
Infact to think of it, my writing skills are also a big thanks to my love for cricket. It is only because of cricket that I even read. I am one of those writers who does not read much. I would read each and every article that would come in the newspaper that would even remotely talk about cricket. My vocabulary and writing skills are all thanks to those beautifully written articles by either Ayaz Menon or Sunil Gavaskar or Harsha Bhogle or Sanjay Manjrekar or one of those many writers on different cricket websites.
I even judge people on the way they play cricket and trust me it is a good scale to judge people on. Like, when we play cricket and the kind of player the other person is tells me how good is he when it comes to his work. For eg: if the person is cautious while batting and isn’t the one who takes risks or goes down the track you know what kinda person he is. Also, is that player good enough to play you or competitive enough on the field tells me how competitive or good he is off the field and more often than not, this seems to work.
It is like if the person is serious about winning he would try and fight it out and not give up easily, in cricket and similarly in a professional life he would be one who does a good job and is the kinds who actually works hard and pays attention to each and every thing and makes sure he does everything well.
The way you approach a sport tells a lot about your personality and your habits. And that is what I feel is the seamless connection between cricket and life.

Don't change!

2009-11-26T02:01:00.000-08:00

No, I mean you can and should change your clothes daily, but what I want to say here is purely in cricketing terms.

I do not want to like people to change, be it their action, their attitude, their stance or whatever. Agreed, that if there is a fault you need to rectify it but then again don't they say play your natural game and be yourself.

I would like to argue here that when you were good enough to get chosen for the team with the action or stance or technique you had then why would you make major changes in them? I understand that you need to keep improving and iron out your faults since the opposition is always a step ahead. Then what if the change brought about by you makes you a different player altogether?

Take for instance, a Sehwag - he never made any change to his technique nor his mindset and now he is one of the most feared batsmen of the current crop. And now contrarily look at an Irfan Pathan, when he started off, he was a swing bowler with decent pace and with every outing for India his pace seemed to be increasing. There was a time when he would bowl at 140 kmph and around. And now? The case has reversed...he is out of the team, scratching his head to find form, lacks pace, lost his swing and is not even a mirror of what we knew Irfan Pathan was!!

And there are several such cases I can list out, Ishant Sharma, Ashish Nehra, Balaji, Munaf Patel, for bowlers and for batsmen - Mohammad Kaif, Hemang Badani, Dinesh Mongia, and lots more...who seemed good enough and were performing handsomely for their domestic teams but it was only after their stint with the Indian team that they somehow lost the touch and seemed out of form for months together!! and also never made it back to the Indian Team...the list is endless, these are just some of the names that come off the head.

So my simple suggestion to these guys would be to not listen to too many people and not change too many things and try and keep the basic structure same and only then will you find success.

Tendu...Ten don't!

2009-11-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

The headline inspired from an Amul ad from the 90's is the perfect line that beautifully summarizes everyone's feelings.

It took me a while to sit and write down a post since I could not get out of the whole depression. As Yogesh pointed out in his log how I had lost my cool and was on the look out for Jadeja and would probably kill him, I think I would 've been juatified!
My only question was - how many matches will India have to lose for our youngsters to understand how to keep their nerve under pressure. And more importantly what guarantees that after playing a few such matches they will learn and not make the same mistake again. I mean didn't Jadeja commit the same mistake in the previous match? Hasn't Virat failed to grasp his chances given time and and again to him? How many times will thee tail enders need to be told and shown how to hold a bat and infact how difficult it is to just try and rotate the strike. It is more important to try, success attained or not is secondary.

I will definitely not feel as bad when a Munaf or a Nehra try to steer the ball down third man and miss it or edge it as when they try to hit the ball out of the ground when all you need is a run a ball. And as records show Nehra has played more than a 100 matches, he still did what a usual Indian tail ender would do, they want to become heroes!!!

Then again, who doesn't! But you can become a hero doing what you can do best, right? Wrong, you can become a hero trying to do what you did best in your gully and not in the international arena!

So flabbergasted was I when I saw Jadeja, Nehra and the likes play those shots that I almost abused them in front of my dad!! Then i thought of the plight of the master. Just imagine what he must be going through, we just saw the innings and were so disappointed and heart broken, what about Sachin?

Trust me, if I was Jadeja, I would not have the courage to even go back in the same bus as him nor stay in the hotel, I would rent a car and just roam around the city and see the disappointed faces to get motivation for the next match and definitely stay away from the media or Sachin. Maybe the next day go to him and actually apologize and promise a much better more defined performance. I sincerely hope Jadeja does make amends for this and all the other 9 guys go out there and win the series for his one Herculean effort of Sachin.

Forget the 20 years of cricket he has played for the country and the numerous times he has been disappointed, this one series victory will bring him some solace.

This one loss really hurt and infact made me think and wonder - what would I rather see - in the case where an Indian loss is inevitable - would I rather see a one sided match and see the Indians go down without a fight or see them come so close and see the most breathtaking innings of 2009 ( if not anything else) and the player end up on the losing side as what happened with Sachin - really there is not much choise there - but then I say - I'd rather see them lose without a fight - coz you know why - coz this hurt....very very badly and an injury such as this leaves a permanent scar, one that will not go away even after surgery...

To leave on a positive note, I would like to say that hope the Indian team does a turnaround from here on and go on to win the series, here's wishing them loads of luck and a few lines that may be Sachin could identify with -

Mujhe baarish achi lagti hai, haan mujhe baarish achi lagti hai, kyunki ek wo hi hai jo mere aansuon ko apni boondon mein chupa sakti hai!!! - Yours truly!

Nothing hurts as much today!

2009-11-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

Saw the Aussies smash us all over the park - took it with a pinch of salt.
Saw the hitters Sehwag, Yuvi and Dhoni not fight hard - told myself don't worry.
Saw the ever so calm Gautam Gambhir lose his head - thought it happens very rarely, forget it.
Saw Sachin play one of the best innings of his life according to me and enjoyed every moment of it - infact was thinking he might make a double hundred today!
Saw Jadeja run - THEN I GOT UP AND TOLD MYSELF - WHEN WILL THESE GUYS LEARN.

The question that came to my mind wasn't oh god, why us? But rather, I ask how many games will India have to lose for youngsters to understand simple things, for them to understand how not to panic under pressure.

Jadeja did it twice in two games. Can understand he is young and new and stuff, but look at the way McKay caught the ball White threw at him and calmy whipped the bails? For your information, it was his first match!! Imagine, making your debut and bowling to 'The Guru' of cricket and almost see your team losing after scoring 350 runs and yet have all the sense in the world to know when to strike back and how to not lose hope.

What is it that hits us more - complacency? panic? not being able to hold our nerves? What is it? And why does it happen with Indians only, why didn't Hauritz not throw right at d base of the stumps, why couldn't have Manou dropped that catch, how come McKay had the courage to bowl a slower ball on the legside with his fine leg up!!!

It's all in the head. And yet somehow we keep failing, we lack the temperament.

I have played a thousand gully cricket matches, but seldom have I lost my cool to do such stupid things. I might have played bad shots, but do not end up doing such stupid and silly mistakes, especially when such a big match is at stake.

And for God's sake, really God here means - Sachin Tendulkar - for his sake, the guy just played the innings of his lifetime, win it for him!!! Stay there, be cool.

This was the first time that such a close match almost made me cry. it literally had me in tears when I saw the screen show 'Out'. The look on PK's face said it all, but I wouldn't blame him much.

For me the culprit was Jadeja, for the rest of my life I will have a grudge against him!!!!

If life had background music!

2009-11-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

Ever thought about this? What if, whatever your mood was could be reflected in the background music? It would save so much time and we would have so many less fights. Come on, remember the last time you tried to get a little annoying with your friend and she bashed you away from her that instant? And it was only later that you found out that it was all because she was not in the best of moods!!!
In your defence, you had no clue she had a rough day and you could even argue that all you were trying to do was to cheer her up!! But don’t worry, it’s all in vain, as am sure she would have a million others who would support her on this.
So yeah, that’s why this thought. Only if there was background music in life would we be able to tell in what kind of a mood the other person is and start the conversation accordingly or behave in a certain manner.
Just imagine this, you have just given your last exam paper and are on your way home, what is the song that is playing in your head? May be the Pepsi slogan – Azaadi, dil ki, freedom to be heee..Azaadi..dil ki...or may be if you’re the old song liking soul then - panchhi banu udti firun mast gagan mein... aaj mein aazaad hun duniya ke chaman mein.

Or just imagine this, its’ one of your first days in college and you see that cute little girl around the corner and your heart goes – Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumar, naya pyaar hai....am sure thousand and thousand of you’ll can associate with this one moment. I can bet, all o us have had this moment in our life!
The time when our crush looks at us, or the time when he/she is wearing our favourite colour and by mistake he/she happens to look in your direction and give a smile....oooohh...that’s it!! She’s made our day!

Or imagine this, you’ve just go to know that your one time love has just got someone in her life and all you want to do now is dig in deep into some real soulful songs or may be if you are one of those metal head then may be something real heavy to get rid of that argh feeling and move on.

There are many of us who like to listen to those old sad hindi film songs, or may be one of those Atif Aslam songs...personally I hate that guy and I think he’s just a desi version of Enrique Iglesias and all he does is cry and not sing...Anyway, that aside, the song we want to hear is – Tere bin kaise jeeya....and we feel much better.

That is the time when you need someone close to cry into or to talk to. But may be sometimes that person is not around or is in the middle of something and hence cannot come to you and handle tis situation with you.
That is the time when you wish these kind of tunes play in the background or may be even have the instrumental version of those songs play so that people around know the kind of mood you are in.

That is when you ask god, why doesn’t life have background music??

Champion's Leak

2009-11-05T09:54:00.000-08:00

While my friends watched the Champions League T20 in an ordinary pub or on TV, I won a contest and found myself not only watching the action from the players’ dressing room… but also having meals with the legends themselves. Such as breakfast with Glenn McGrath and dinner with Anil Kumble. Thanks to my rahu stars and the generosity of a certain liquor baron, I was appointed ‘Chief fan’ for the Royal Challengers Bangalore.

Donning red and gold

Imagine attending team meetings, giving them high-fives after jokes or er, knowing their kamina sides – the enormity of the experience started sinking in as I checked into a room next to Gibbs and Duminy, at a Bengaluru hotel. Next morning, I had breakfast with my heroes - Kumble, Dravid, Kallis, Boucher. I was initially edgy, but it took simple moments (such as Kumble playing with his daughter or Pravin Kumar raving about chhole-khulche of Meerut) for me to be one of them - I’d already donned the red-and-gold RCB jersey.

The tourney kickstarted, and so did the time of my life. First up, it was exciting to meet the team behind the scenes. Apart from the squad, the team bus would comprise of the coach, manager, team analyst, physio, trainer, masseur and sometimes, even the COO. While the times on field were anxious, the times off it were something I’ll report to my grandchildren: Praveen Kumar suffixes every sentence with the choicest north Indian abuses; the team is shown motivational videos (which we often see on Youtube) before a game; Kumble loves chatting on his Gmail; Ross Taylor can cook parathas and that Kallis doesn’t smile even when he’s not playing… not even on his birthday.

Games people play

Intriguingly, I got to see how some sportsmen had scored offfield. While Kallis’ stunning gori wife got all the stares, a particular hunk of the team had a PYT hanging around at practice sessions, hotel room et al. Not to forget, the lesser fortunate ones tried their best to score. One, for instance was seen flirting with the hotel receptionist several times.

The young team was also high on fun, especially of the legpulling variety. I was once audience to Pravin and Virat taking a dig at the TV media: in the middle of a conversation about how good the kulfis in Kanpur are, Kohli broke into a sensational commentary, while Pravin played the interviewee, a kulfi-seller. “Dil thaam ke baithaiye, agla item aapka dil dehla dega,” Virat went, “Malai kulfi ke saath extra toppings yukt kaju kulfi aapke poore parivaar ko achambit kar degi!” All this was, by the way, in the team bus.

Dinner with Jumbo

Though my most memorable experience would have to be the dinner at Jumbo’s place. The occasion was worthy – a combined celebration of Kumble’s and Kallis’s birthdays and of course, Diwali. Having the legendary leg-spinner I have cheered and cried in joy for all these years — show you around his house was inexplicably moving. Not many know that the former skipper is a nature lover, and this was apparent from the pictures (all self-shot) which adorned his rooms. It was thrilling to visit a special room which flaunted only his trophies – Arjuna award, the ‘perfect 10’ trophy, et al. The tête-à-tête was vibrant too: I came to know that Kumble is the new vice-chief of the Karnataka Wildlife Board. (Bet you didn’t know that!) I also stole a moment to quiz him about one mystery the world has had – why on earth couldn’t he turn the ball? He couldn’t help laughing before replying, “I didn’t want to lose my line-and-length at the cost of spin.” Case rested.

RCB’s campaign ended prematurely after two defeats. Worse, news of Dravid’s ouster from Team India was a dark cloud. (Rahul himself, after long, anxious moments of tracking cricket sites on his laptop, resigned to his room on learning the news.) The 11-day-trip cost me my job (yours truly went ahead even after his leaves weren’t approved) but as they say, ‘some things in life are priceless’.

When a dream comes true!

2009-10-05T23:27:00.003-07:00

If someone asked me to choose between playing cricket for one more time and dying or living for 20 more years with lots of money and a wonderful life sans cricket! I would choose the former.

This is what cricket means to me, and that is why when given the option of choosing between my heart and my mind I again chose the former.

Winning the Royal Challengers Fanatic Fans' Challenge was like a dream come true. To be staying with the team, traveling with them, seeing how they prepare before a big game, living with the legends of the game like Rahul Dravid and Anil Kumble is no small thing.

But, well then you always have to choose between things in life. My organization is not willing to let me go for this vacation in the making and a chance of a lifetime, but may be they do not know how big this is for me.

For someone who has always dreamed of playing once with the Indian team, always wondered as to how would life be for cricketers who are always under the scanner.

This is my big chance, this might not be the biggest platform any person can get to make his entry into the cricketing media industry but this could be a different start.

I cannot recall if someone has ever got a chance like this before to be part of a comparatively smaller team in terms of following but this is by no means a team of smaller or rather unknown cricketers!

The picture above is something that will remain etched in my heart for the rest of my life. It could be the beginning of a new life, a new start and this could be the time where I decide to go where my heart is!

The InvincibleS

2009-10-02T04:22:00.000-07:00

This is one poster I thought of making for the challenge and put it up on the blog.

RCB - here comes Ragers Watch out!

2009-10-01T02:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.royalchallengers.com/application/Ragers/

It's funny that I am propagating my own profile on my own blog, but yeah, that's the truth! I entered the contest hearing about it on Radio.

As soon as I heard it it was like 'Aah, that sounds like my dream' and off I went - straight to the website and started making my application. I still remember I was one of the first one to register and when I checked in after a few days there were already a few thousands who had logged on. I knew competition would be tough but I had faith in my ability.

God helped me build that faith even stronger when I found out that I was shortlisted in the top 27.

Now the race to the top will be a lot more fun, since there will be some 26 others who are as socially active and fun loving as I am.

So looking forward to it, till then, my followers and those who randomly drop on this blog, please check out my entry and vote for the best!

Good luck to all and may the best three win!

Cheers - in true Royal Challengers style!

Ragers a.k.a Raging Optimist!

God - What do you have in mind for me?

2009-07-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

It seems, me and God have an superfast Internet connection at times. I think about something and he knows about it. I wish for something and he gets ready to fulfill it.

Well, it also has its own cons you know. At times, I wonder if God really has good things planned for me or just heart breaks, one after the other.

It's like I choose one and he decides to take her away from me, but the funny part comes later, he tells me only after I am really in love with her.

Good job, God!

Kuch Pal

2009-06-05T00:16:00.001-07:00

Yaad kar ke dekh kitna samay nikla gaya hai
Kuch palon mein kai saalon ka hisaab mil gaya hai

Itna sab kuch ho gaya hai is beech
Ki update karna bhi ban gayi takleef

Tu kuch is tarah se gayab ho gayi
Ki mujhe laga tu mujhse naraaz ho gayi

Jis tarah se apni shuruat hui thi
Socha na tha ki kahani yahan tak pahunch jayegi

Pehle to wo kuch hi pal the
Lekin kaafi kuch tha un palon mein

Shuru hua tha jo kissa tumse
Wo aaj bhi barqaraar hai tumse

Tumse seekha tha jo zindagi mein
Aaj wohi bata raha hoon phir se is kavita mein

Us solaah saal ki Purvi mein tha ek ajaab sa josh
Yaad kar usse tu aur dekh kahan gaya wo josh

Aaj jahan pe tu khadi hai
Wahin par kuch saal pehle main tha

Isliye kehta hoon darr na mat bas chalte jaana
Kisi aur ke liye nahin khud ke liye yeh kaam karna

Dekhna ek din wo bhi aayega wapas
Jo tune chaha wo hi milega tujhe

Agar zindagi mein sab kuch mil jaata itni aasani se
To kyun hote dost, kyun hoti takleef, kyun aata takleefon se ubharne ka mazaa

Aaj tere birthday ke din tujhe bas itna kahunga
Main thoda dur hi sahi lekin tere paas hamesha rahunga!

Shayiri

2009-04-18T06:07:00.000-07:00

Just trying my hand at it, so please do not judge me now.

Tumhari naazuk si ungliyon ko maine jab chua tha,
Sach kehta hoon mere dil mein kuch hua tha,
Is chuan ne machai aisi khalbali hai,
Waqt kya cheez hai dil ki dhadkan ruk padi hai,
Is baat ko ansuni na kar dena,
Itna karna ki mere sapne ko haqeeqat kar dena.

Wo aaye zara muskurake,
Wo jaaye zara bal khaake,
Unki ek aanh par dil machle,
Dekhen jab wo sabse nazar bachake.

Khoobsurat lag rahi ho tum aaj itni,
Ki khuda ne bhi chand se keh diya,
Maaf karna ae chand magar,
tumhe deedar dene ki aaj iltija nahin.

Ek khubsurat se paimaane ko chune ka dil kiya,
Kuch kadam badhaye bhi uski ore,
Naseeb mein na tha shayad wo,
Haath mein aane se pehle kisi aur ke haath lag gaya.

One moment with you, the other without.

2009-02-10T01:58:00.001-08:00

It’s such an irony to think of it now
Sometime back I had said
Can’t live a moment without you
And now, here I am living the life,

It’s been weeks since I last saw you,
And there were times when I wouldn’t let a day pass by,
A sight of you and you would make my day,
And now one sight and I want to run away,

Our lives have changed so much,
Never thought this could happen,
You are on the verge of a merge,
And I am… about to surge,

Leap towards the sky and take a hike,
Leave all things behind,
Embark upon a new journey,
And create an identity.

And you are still stuck in that moment,
Going from glory to ashes,
You seem to be going down the barrel,
Your tunnel has no light,

I am on the upswing,
And you are missing the link,
Back to where you do not belong,
Back from where I wrote that song.

One moment with you, the other without.

Rules of writing a spot for Radio

2008-12-16T02:56:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: These are some rules I have been following and they seem to work most times. Other times they just help me when I am in no mood to write or do not have enough time to write.

Rules to write a spot for Radio:

1. Write the kind of copy you would write for a pamphlet. Make it very to the point but a little bit flowery with use of some nice words. - Brainless spot!
2. Write a spot striking a conversation between two people, one enquiring about something to which the answer should be the product or service! - 1 On 1 spot!
3. A conversation which is funny and note this, funny for the sake of it but somehow, somewhere you have to manage to get the product link! - Humour funda rocks spot!
4. An emotional script, a script which an SRK or a Shahid would typically be saying with this hands at shoulder length pointing towards that UFO with the expression of " I have seen you somewhere just cannot recall where!!!" - Emotional spot
5. This one is my favorite - Write a spot which runs faster than the August Kranti and which is meant to be a 30 seconder but the client wants you to somehow fit it in a 20 seconder...and you know what, we somehow do it...thanks to Merrill!! - @$Y#$% Spot!
6. A spot which is a real creative, a spot where you have taken some time to think of a concept, a spot where you have wonderfully woven the product and have added either humour or emotion to support it and there is some kind of an observation which normally a common mand would not notice. I like to call it - A Radio spot!

These are some of the rules I have been living with for the past 6 months and today I thought of penning them down, rather typing them to commemorate my 6 month anniversary at Fever 104 - It's all about the music!!! Yes, truly, it is one of the reasons am here..I love music and so do they!!

Ridiculously Cute!

2008-12-16T02:53:00.000-08:00

A poem I wrote for her, gave it to her after we broke up...for the last time.

Starting with a manic Monday
I move on to my terrible Tuesday

Everyday seems like a tough ask
I wish I could wear a mask

Work work work…I get stuck
Feel like moving on…driving a truck

Want to get there fast
Hurry up and not come last

I rock the place and swoon with the crowds
This is what really makes me proud

I wanna sing and dance
Don’t care how it looks

I want to go out there dance in the rain
Hold you in my arms and sing again

Ridiculously cute is what you are
Can’t stay without you and you know this yaar

26/11 - The saga continues...

2008-12-16T02:28:00.000-08:00

26th November, the day my city was attacked!

It was not the first time someone has ever done so, yet somehow I felt different. Somehow I felt agitated. And long before all these TV channels had this expression I was telling myself Enough is Enough.

The feeling I was getting was, what do these terrorist think, they can just come and attack us anytime they feel like. Like what is the point of having these security personnel standing with those guns, and doiong those security checks during Ganpati Visarjan, during EID them standing outside Masjids.

It all does not make any sense now. They came in by boats, they come and hijack our planes..they go to our bunkers and attack the army..I guess they are yet to attack our Air Forces..That is the only thing left.

Indians were agitated, obviosuly, we cried out, we had peace marches, we lit candles, we protested, we called for bandhs, we had debates, we even decided not to pay our taxes.

We wanted to attack Pakistan, there were numerous mails being forwarded showing what Paksitanis think of us, who is to be blamed for these attacks or how the intelligence faield or how the report never reached the concerned authorities, how Alyque Padamsee and Mahesh Bhatt feel and how Vilarao was being an ass for not accepting his mistake but rather asking why did not politicians quit when Parliament attacked.

It was a shame for India and all this was not helping.

People quit, but I thought quitting was the easiest way out. You can quit and have a press conference and take the blame and leave, it is upto the next guy who comes in who has to make the tough decisions and face the public banter.

Good Vilasrao left, but what happened next, in came Chaggan Bhujbal, the guy who was sacked because of his involvement with the Telgi case, brilliant I say!

Now, almost a month has passed and we are waiting for some serious action. We have given Pakistan a list of 20 criminals from our Most Wanted. Pakistan inturn sends another 20 they want and infact refuses to hand over Pak Citizens to India.

One day they buckle under UN pressure, one day they say we will co-operate. I really do not know what will happen.

The Pakistan media thinks the guy who has been caught is just an ordinary Paksitani and we just want to malign Pakistan and hence are just saying all these things.

They say BJP, RSS and VHP could be behind all these attacks, in their state all these groups are what LeT and Jaish is to India!

When I eventually began writing this piece the idea was to just express some views, some thoughts, some feelings.

The idea was to keep it in my memory, and the best way was to keep it here. This shall remain and hope this shall never repeat!

New topic

2008-10-29T04:25:00.000-07:00

Everytime I think I want to write I do not have enough time on hand and when I do I do not have any topic in mind!!

Tragedy!..So I thought will just list down a few things that I had been thinking about.

some random things...Lemon crackle cake from merwan's..cnt forget it, got it for pa's birthday...he liked it and I did something like this surprised me!

I am over Archana...I like it!

I want to go to Singapore now...for studies...

I celebrated Diwali all alone this time..

I wrote a poem for her and gave it to her as well but with no feelings..

This is for now, later may be when I go back home.
Oh yea, I had planned to celebrate diwali differently this time but could not do it.

I plan to buy a home theatre system or a DVD player for home as a diwali gift. Let's see if i do it or not.

this is it for now. more later

Start your day with a smile

2008-08-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

This is something that is usually irritating but this time sweet sounding tele caller taught me. i was having a bad day in the office and was not myself for a particular reason. but this woman taught me what a small thing like having a smile while talking or starting everyday with some enthusiasm can do.

It was a call from one of the private insurance companies and as usual they just wouldn't stop talking. not really wanting to know whether I have the time for it or not. but this one she started with a real big enthusuastic good afternoon. she had some energy in her voice.

the way she spoke made me realise no matter how bad your day is going or no matter how the person you will talk to might react it is your job to give it your best shot everytime.

soemtimes you get lessons from a place you least expect it to come from.

she made me listen to her entire story and it made me feel happy to see how fun life can it at times its only the way you look at it that makes the difference.

I quit - I contract

2008-06-11T03:37:00.000-07:00

Ya it finaly happened. Did not really expect it to happen the way it did also not the time. But then I like things this way, when things happen without a lot of notice. It helps sometimes coz you do not know what to expect also this sudden change gives some excitement.

I had not stopped liking my work at contract just had started losing it because of the disorganization in the company. Whatever little politics that were going on, the insecurity had started getting bad vibes from the place. Had started feeling that i was no longer wanted.

The main cuplrit of this end of the association was my copy head. J was such an ass that I do not even want to talk about it. it was not just the main reason though, after a few months I thought I was actually getting to work on big clients and big briefs but the problem was I lacked direction.

I did not know if what I was suggesting was right or wrong, the people judging my creatives were as new as me and at times even less qualified for it.

There were a lot of problems but the issue was no one really looked at it. It was all neglected and I felt as if people were waiting for something big to happen.

Which did, a lot of people quit together, a lot of chaos and commotion followed.

Gaps

2008-04-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

In this age of expanding and exciting new communication mediums being launched every few years it is a tragedy that the gaps between people is increasing on a daily basis.

All the talk of the world coming closer, distances getting erased is just on paper.

The world is coming closer but we are going further away.

We are running away from each other. We are becoming too self-centred and selfish to notice the changes. We are just too engrossed in our own lives to look outside and reach out to others. We are distancing ourselves from the world and are seeking solace in the virtual world.

We talk for hours on the internet to friends and strangers and celebrities but don't have a thing to say with our own neighbours when we are in the elevator.

Communication gaps that are being created by us are killing. they are on the verge of becoming voids we can never fill.

We talk to our friends but rebel against our parents, we talk to our sibling but fight back with our parents. We do not keep them in the loop but yet expect them to trust us in our effort. We don't inform them of our actions but expect them to understand us. We blame it on generation gap and conveniently avoid all the hassle.

We do not take a minute to put ourselves in their shoes and then think from that perspective. We are so engrossed in our own self that we are not thinking about others. We do not have time to do the little household chores but when a friend calls in for help we are there the very next second. We get worked up during the week and need to unwind but partying all night on weekends but do not think may be even our family needs our time to help them unwind.

the smallest of free time we get, we think of spending it with our loved one. We do not think may be our parents expect us to think of them as our loved one. for the unconditional love showered onto us over these years all they ask for is a few moments every day and we can't even give that.
We are acting to be so focussed on our careers and life and tell them that this is the right time and shrug off our responsibilities.
We give reasons like, its either now or never, or something like " look at our friends, look where they have reached, it is the era of competition and we need to pull up our socks too." May be we really need to pull up our socks. But there is no competition when it comes to giving love and talking. there aren't just enough people doing it at the moment.
it is so very easy to say these are our growing years, youngsters tend to make these mistakes and learn from it. But why let that happen to very youngster. why wait till we grow old and understand all this and be left with no time to do what we were supposed to do.

Or worse, have no one to give love to.
Your parents might not even live longer than you think. by the time your realize it, it could be too late. they might not even be there! give them the love and care they deserve. talk to them, let them know what is happening with you, share things with them, treat them like your friends, even if they do not behave like one, let them know you trust them and care for them more than anyone else in this world. they have brought you up and have sacrificed their life trying to make sure you got the best in everything.
They must have gone empty stomach just to make sure you could have that extra bite of your favourite vegetable or your favourite dish.

Think about it. may be there is something you haven't done for your loved one that is still eating you. May be it's not too late, may be the time is now.

Fill this gap before it becomes a void you cannot fill.

We have loads of time for our friends and spouse but when our parents want us to have dinner with them we find reasons to get out of it.

We get calorie conscious when someone is happy and is celebrating a birthday or a special occasion but when we travel outside chocolates are the first thing that we buy.

In our own family we do not know what is happening. We get news about each other more through the internet or friends staying far from us than from each other.

there is a link in each family that is helping them stay together. Once that link breaks or disappears for a few days, the network crashes.

Customization in radio

2008-04-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Don't think that is too far now. with customization being the flavour of the season am sure sooner or later it will hit the radio medium as well.

Content may be king! But Customer is God!

So how do you choose who should be given more prominence. in this era when a customer is creating content not just for a small product but is getting involved in more ways than one
I feel the day is not far when a customer will decide what he will hear on the radio and what not.

As the famous Craig Davis once said, we should be creating entertainment and not interrupting it.
the norm right now is to block entertainment and force your ad somewhere in the middle. as a viewer i would hate it. infact, when i watch my match on the television i hate it when before the over gets completed the TV guys cut it short and bring in an ad. its frustrating, when i am paying for that channel and i want to see every second of the match who the hell are these Tv guys to interrupt and kill my viewing.

I am paying for the entire match and i want to see every second. similarly when i switch on the radio all i want to hear is some soothing music. who wants to know what the RJ thinks about a certain issue or not. at least i do not want to. So let me listen to just that.

soon a time will come when there will be specific channels, stations that will play only 60's and 70's music, stations that will have only teen talk shows and that kinda stuff that attract those college-goers, teeny-boppers.

Each channel catering to a particular target. that will make things simpler for a listener. depending upon my mood i will choose a channel and listen to the songs i want to.

i wish this comes sooner than later and we are saved from these horrendous sounding RJ's!

Clueless

2008-04-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

Am clueless about a lot of things right now. My future, careerwise as well as life in general.

Thinking about it sends shivers down my spine at times. It is so unclear that it is not even funny. At times I feel I am in full control and then one day suddenly things come up which catch me off guard.

It is almost like things happen to unnerve me. I feel like i am getting where i want to be and I see a happy life ahead when lightning strikes. Or should I say reality strikes.

Right now for some odd reason I feel very jittery. I feel nervous, as if something bad is going to happen. I am living under some kind of a threat.

Can't describe this feeling but it is something I want to get rid off right now.

I Believe

2008-04-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

I believe I can make it happen
I believe I can blurt it all out
I believe things will work out
I believe she loves me
I believe I can reach my goal
I believe I am made to entertain
I believe I have the talent to conquer
I believe I can lie
I believe I have the best of friends
I believe I have the will to sustain and grow
I believe I have the survival instincts
I believe I can make wonders
I believe I can make people believe
I believe I can bring a significant change to people's lives
I believe I am born to do certain things
I believe I will live all my dreams
I believe I will do all it takes
I believe I can fly!

Incomplete

2008-04-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

Is what I am.
That someone is missing from my life. I don't know for how long will this gap be there.

I feel a part of me is not there, something in the body is not working properly. It is affecting the whole system, somehow I feel choked.

Update

2008-04-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

there is no topic in my mind at the moment but i still want to write.
i want to update my blog with something.

for starters, i have a dilemma which i want to get out of. whether to stay here or move out. try out the new path or stay here and explore more avenues.

bigger question remains, study or work?..how to convince dad about studying later and working now.

the whole thing about me and her. is it just friendship that she wants or is she really confused. may be it is just me who is thinking of love and at her end she has actually come to terms with the fact that nothing can and will happen between us.

what is my calling? where does my future lie. will i ever be able to start something of my own?
can i write all my life, do i want to?

is cricket is something i want ot get into in a deeper way? is there more to me than this creative skill.
what am i cut out for? how do i find out?

this is enough for the time being, later hopefully shall return with a good topic in mind.

COZ WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

2008-03-05T02:10:00.001-08:00

THE INDIAN TEAM AFTER BEATING AUSTRALIA 2-0 IN THE COMMONWEALTH BANK SERIES

(pic: courtesy getty images)

It's been nine months now and the baby hasn't come out.

2008-03-05T01:21:00.000-08:00

ya strange as it may seem. it has been a little over nine months and the baby just won't come out.

as if it is afraid of this big bad world. the people here, it has become conscious of its detractors. its hiding away somewhere.

the baby is called 'my creativity'

it is lost somewhere, and has decided not to come out of me even after desperate measures. continuous pushing is not helping and the pressure is killing me now.

i had it in me, i had given birth to a lot of ideas as a child, a teenager, an adult and even as an employee until i reached this place.

for some odd reason the creative within me is dying out. it is not that i am feeling drained out, nor am i mind blocked. it is may be just a phase that is lasting a bit too long for my comfort.

how and when will i find an answer to my problem is something that even i have no clue about.

something needs to be done about it. sooner or later else i will succumb to it and may be this might just bring about an end to my already low flagging career!!

well it might bring the shutters down for one media n might open up a new avenues for me to explore. i dont' know if this is a sign for change.

but i definitely need a break from this regular mundane things and need to renew my enthusiasm for advertising and i need to get back my zing.

When you were around

2008-03-05T01:15:00.000-08:00

i feel the best when you are around
i act the best when you are around
i behave the best when you are around

it's a pity that now you are not around
coz i used to feel, i was the best only when you were around!

Will you be there? - Second Version

2008-02-27T03:27:00.001-08:00

When the world shall cease to exist
and I will look for a hand for support
Will you be there?

When I would've given up all hope
and survival would be tough
Will you be there?

When I would've lost all faith in love
and would want to end my life with you beside me
Will you be there?

When I would like to see you for the last time
and seal the last bit of time together
Will you be there?

When I will ask for one special moment from GOD
and hope to spend it with you on this earth
Will you be there?

When life is about to end
and all I can see would be you
Will you be there?

When I want to marry you
and spend my life with you
Will you be there?

When I ask for some time with you
and instead end up spending an entire lifetime
Will you be there?

Will you be there? - First Version

2008-02-27T03:19:00.000-08:00

Will you be there?
when i will be here.
so that this face-off doesn't happen tonight

Will you be there?
when i will be here.
coz things haven't been good with us, right?

Will you be there?
when i will be here.
so that after today we don't end up having a fight

Will you be there?
when i will be here.
and save me from this plight of seeing you again this night!

Will you be there?
when i will be here.
and end things peacefully between us and go home happy!

Another spineless performance! - 16th Feb-08- Ind v/s Aus - 152 /10 - 203/9!

2008-02-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it has happened again. I mean it is only India which can do such a thing but i wasn't expecting something like this from this particular team.

a few things which baffle me, rather i wanna debate about with someone.

why send pathan at no.3 when you have uthappa who is itching to get there, hasn't had a good time yet, is out of touch a bit and needs some batting practice. not doubting pathan's skills as a batsman, but he is not as good as Uthappa that no one can argue about. Also, Uthappa is chosen more as a bastman, infact only as a batsman and pathan has a dual role. half of which was accomplished brilliantly. taking 4 wkts giving away 41 runs only.

anyway, this was one point second is why were they playing as if it was a 20 20 match. why was uthappa in such a hurry that even though we had about 12 overs to go he went for the attack.
weren't the tailenders told about the bonus point that Australia could get if India scores less than 162. i mean it wasn't that we were asking munaf patel and Sreseanth to score 40 in 12 balls!!! this was highly ridiculous. we just gave away a bonus pt which could prove crucial in the long run.

suddenly after the first win against the mighty aussies we have let them come back and this is not good . as they say when you have a champion team down you pull them further down and not let them get up.

India will pay for it. Dhoni getting out could ve been the turning point but the batsmen who got out before him have to be blamed for it.

Sachin was unlucky, Gambhir played a horrible shot especially because he was the man in form and had settled down with a 34 off 42 balls. next to go was Rohit sharma, a bad shot. still can be expected because he was still getting settled. yuvi, out of form scratched around for 44 balls scoring 26. Uthappa gave up too soon scoring 18 in 36. Pathan was just a waist getting 18 off 30.

if so many of ur batsmen fail on one day you cannot expect to win. Let's be frank here, we know that yuvi is not going thru the best of forms, and uthappa is out of touch, so we need to keep in mind their failures and as the law of averages works - Rohit had scored runs in the last match, so i wasn't expecting him to do it this time. gambhir had not done it since his century and since he was quite consistent in the Twenty20 i thought he would like to maintain it here and cement his place in the side. unfortunately he failed to live up to his expectation.

Did not expect this from dhoni's team. I thought he was a fighter and his team is one too, but this time they gave in too meekly. hope this does not happen again. Really have faith in these players and i believe they can achieve what lot of indian teams haven't in the past. !!!

Go Team India Go !!!!!!

I' ve been far from cricket. Cricket has never been far from me.

2008-02-17T22:27:00.000-08:00

No matter how hard i try it has never happened.
right from the time i shifted to my new building when i was about 2 yrs old to my new office or rather my first office. Cricket has never been too far for me to not be able to reach it.

my first love and my longest relationship.
It's been the best friend I' ve ever had and certainly cherish this bonding.

When i had shifted to this new building in juhu, Juhu Griha Swapna, I was about 10-12 yrs old and was shy and found it very difficult to make friends or even talk to people. but cricket was the single factor that would connect me with the rest of the building people. Either knowing them by playing with them or by breaking somebody's window panes and then apologizing later or in some cases paying for the broken. window pane. i vividly remember breaking Mr. Lala's window panes very regularly and how he used to get troubled by us in the afternoons on all weekdays and early mornings on weekends. We used to hate him at times but now i feel he was still quite kind as he never stopped us from playing but would just get irritated. he's no more now and it's quite a tragedy that we troubled him a lot even in his last days.

back to the topic, after my first few years at this building we shifted to a new one which wasn't too far away. so i thought i would go back and play with my old mates. but that seldom happened and i made new 'cricket friends'. kids of all ages from around the area would come and pay with us. we had formed quite a big team and would often run into the adjoining ground and play over there.

ohh..how can i forget to mention the cricket we played when we were in school. especially in the 9th and 10th std. whenever we sued to get a free period we would rush to the ground and start playing there. this affair continued even after we left school. we would call up each other and all the juhu brats would meet up at the jamnabai grounds and have a fun time.

11th and 12th cricket was with akshay and me. yup! just the two of us meeting for a friendly bowl!...every second day we would be playing in my bldg compound..n improved our skills!! or so we thought!!

n then engineering had another 2 sets. one was when akshayand deep and bell would get done early from coll and second one would be when i would call up dhaval, alok, pratik and the rest to come and play.

then 2 yrs hence or guess abt 3 yrs later i stepped into xaviers. i thot now that i am entering in a set of ppl with totally different thinking and some who don't even have similar interests, this will be a difficult phase in my life. also coming up after a slight depression i was very circumspect.

but then as has happened all these years i found my buddy here too. altho it was just one, Mr.Desai was the sole saviour who instilled my faith in this new generation. i thot most would be the kind who love football and basketball and the likes but there were a few cricket lovers...fanatic if i must say.

saurbah and malay were my last hopes..but then the gang has since become bigger with nihal, saahil, pranav n a few others..

altho we hardly played during college just to have ppl who r interested in cricket was gud enuff. i could discuss and argue with them and debate on various issues. at times this would give me a lot of satisfaction.

n now in my new office...initially for the first 6-7 months i had completely lost touch, no body in off would play cricket...of course no one ever does!! and then ppl in the bldg too had stopped playing for some odd reason. so it was about time when i had started really missing it a lot. i was craving for a game and then in this bid called on some long lost friends from school and we had a match or two on one of the weekends. but that was it. 2 games and it was all done.

but here it was again, off ppl to the rescue. someone somewhere got this idea of playing underarm in the office parking lot during lunchtime. the best use of lunchtime breaks ever!!!

so there we are now a happy group of about 15 ppl who play cricket every day between 1:30 pm. to 2: 00 pm. . the match ends at 2:00 sharp so as to not bother the big heads in the company.

and cricket in the building is also on its comeback trail what with 16 players gathering yesterday and talks of having another nite cricket match like the one we had about 2 years back...

the cricket scene in my life has come back with a vengeance and am so happy!!

also my school bud yash is back, so here 's to a life full of cricket!! cheers

p.s. my gud frnd bax once asked me - " sid, if you were given the choice between cricket and sex, what would you choose?" - my look gave her the answer and i think she knew it too!!!

How long?

2008-02-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

That is indeed a question that is not just in my mind but has been put in the mind's of some of my close ones.

before you jump to other conclusions let me clear it right away. i am talking about my work and study. Should i quit this job after a year and go try out some other media as my initial plan was and then work for another year and then plan my further studies or...the big OR !!...or...leave the job and look for courses India or abroad!!..

The dilemma doesn't end there..if abroad then where.UK..USA..Australia..all look quite tempting..and if quite to try out some other media then which one?..Radio..Production..Channel...what to do !!! Arghh....no one but I is the only one who can help me get out of this!

It is this 'Stuff' that i keep talking about!!....n lots more..

This how long can be actually used for a lot of my worries and fun aspects!!..hehehe

getting more ideas ...but I dn't wanna ruin my weekend n am leaving office now...!

Why can't I think the way I think when I am thinking?

2008-02-08T07:21:00.000-08:00

What i am going to write is not as complex as the topic makes it sound. It is just what came to my mind when I was seeing a lot of the ads and some of the copy i wrote and suggestions made by colleagues.

As in i myself could ve written something similar, but for some odd reason i could not think in that manner. Also, I ve noticed that the way i think when am not at work and just with friends or something or when i am cracking jokes is quite different to the way i think when am at work.

it is exactly like the saying which ends with something like ' my brain stops working just when i reach the office' I somehow can't even think as to what the exact version was. I just feel a bit irritated today.

A bit of headache is trying to get the better of me.

I feel i have reached a certain level where certain things bother me and certain things don't.

Coming back to the topic, i want to explain it using an example. Like when someone uses a particular word like the other day a office colleague shouted out that cabbies r on a flash strike...n the first thought that came to my mind was flash the software..n i cracked a silly joke on that.

but when i am writing copy or basically just working i tend to think quite horizontally. I think on what the word really means and am not able to go beyond and explore other routes. Sometimes this comes in the way of my thinking and creative abilities.

Right now i have no solution for this nor do i know what to do from here on to get rid of this.

In the making

2007-11-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

In the making is a bundle of joy,
In the making is a precious toy.

It took a while coming,
but when it did, took us all by surprise.
Some were shocked, some were plain happy,
and there were some who jumped in delight
& there I was, who couldn't even be part of it!

But am still elated, at the thought of being promoted.
An added responsibility for you two,
Be rest assured we will be there too.

Let the feeling sink in
& give us some time
To begin the celebrations
the joy & the shine.

Let me end on this happy note
& pray good things for you both.

coz in the making is OUR bundle of joy,
In the making is OUR precious toy!!

This one's dedicated to my sister and my jiajji for obvious reasons.

T20 Champions

2007-10-08T15:14:00.001-07:00

Need I say any more?

Rock n Roll

2007-10-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

Funny how this term has become the perfect way to describe my life. its like a ball which that keeps on bouncing. you like the attitude of bouncing back , not realising that it is hurting itself by touching the ground every time it bounces.

I feel i have no control over it. what has it come to, my life, i don't know where is it taking me, why is it doing wht it is doing. life is a rollercoaster. i thought i had everything under control till a few days back, but then again, it decides to surprise me. One person has so much of power, irresponsible it is.

Lack of stability. its is hurting, i ma ready to bounce back, but worried to see the scenes when i bounce. not sure what i will be seeing. will i be able to digest it, will i be able to face it. i am worried, but i am still looking forward to it. i like challenges, may be i am not all that successful excelling at them, but still the thrill of facing a new one is more than enough to motivate me.

a challenge awaits me, a bomb, a fire cracker, or could all be just an ordinary spark. but yet, i want to see it. i am excited, i am nervous, i am insecure, i am speechless. i want things to get over fast, yet things to slow down for me to enjoy or sulk in the moment.

i am dying, but i want to enjoy this death. i am smiling at the prospect of seeing death, i am waiting with expectant eyes. i want to just go out there and have fun. i want to live the moment.

i know GOD is with me, i know he will only let good happen to me. i trust him, i have belief in him. i am going to win.

i am goonna ROck and i am gonna ROll !!!

It was more like Vashi Blues!

2007-09-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

Imagine going all the way to Vashi for a weekend dinner with your friends and ending up with a disaster like this. Oh well, may be it’s a bit of an exaggeration but yes, nonetheless it was something that was unexpected.

There we were, a group of six friends all set to enjoy our weekend away from Mumbai, on the outskirts, though geographically we were still inside it! I had been thinking for a while now that whenever someone talks about a long drive why do most of us think of going to Cchurchgate or a Worli seaface? Is there no other place in and around Mumbai which is as pleasing as those places? Do we always have to go ‘townside’ for a enjoyable experience!

So I came up with this thought of going to Vashi for dinner that weekend with my bunch of hooligans. Well, we do not act like one, just that I like referring to them by that name. Anyway, getting back, we were all awaiting this weekend and this long trip to Vashi. One of the most well planned suburb of Mumbai, this place is like another country. Divided into sectors, broad roads, clean pavements, no hawkers, it was like we were in America.

About 95 minutes later we finally reached Centre one, the new mall in Vashi. We were hungry by now as it was a little past regular dinner time and thus we rushed to the restaurant, ‘Bombay Blues’. We had no idea what lay in store for us. We started with onion rings, the desi starter. We were surprised to see the waiter get those rings on a steel rod not accompanied with a plate, and on inquiring we were taken aback by his statement. “ This is how we serve to all our customers, sir! You find this weird is it?”

Definitely not expecting such an answer we went ahead and ordered for some nachos and cheese and a fresh lime soda. The waiter was on fire and the service was top notch. The cheese tasted as if it was rotten and the our Mr.Sympathetic got us fresh lime soda without any soda. Well if that wasn’t enough, the Pepsi we got was completely fizzed out! We then started to wonder whether coming all the way to Vashi did make sense or not, or was it just a small tiny winy mistake!

A restaurant with such a good reputation, well at least outside Vashi, could falter so badly and did not even have a good excuse to fall back on! We were all very disappointed with the service and only after a little convincing by the Manager of the Restaurant did we think of paying them a little amount for the onions rings and Pepsi.

But having made up our minds, never to go back to the same place ever again. At least I would not dare to think of such plans as I was made to bear the brunt of everybody’s anger over the food. Although, we had a bit of a relief the next time we visited Bombay Blues near Andheri. We were not met by the same kind of service and food. And faith was eventually restored back in a restaurant which used to be one of my favorites at one point of time

Take a Mental Video

2007-08-22T23:56:00.000-07:00

That's how I felt this time during my birthday week. It just kept on going and i think it ended yesterday with my birthday treat.

started with a big bang with my surprise birthday party by some real close friends on a monday....!! 4 days in advance n something that was totally and completely unexpected. it was one of the most memorable birthday surprise parties ever for me. I cannot recall any surprise party I had before so this one goes right at the top.

To think of it, I used to keep doing these pranks n fool people but this time i got conned and could not find out that my friends had planned a party!! Can't believe but i actually had tears in eyes at the end of the day to think that i was blessed with such cool and wonderful friends.

From then on, thursday happened to be the next day for another birthday celebration...we all were going to pick up frm bro-in-law and at the airport in the middle of the night..well actually at around 4 in the morning....cut another cake...made by my sis...another sweet surprise...n being surrounded by some of the people closest to me was the cherry on the top.

Next day, the 10th, 'THE DAy' i reach office and boom everybody was waiting for me to come ....all the hoo halla that i got surrounded by was a sight to see. Later in the evening was lucky to have another cake for myself. another celebration with a few kicks n punches as birthday bumps..and the regular cake smudging on the face not just once but twice...good and taken down all in good spirit...actually more than happy to have the cake being smacked on the face.

yaa, it's not over yet, then that night i left for my cousins place. after reaching i found out that they were planning to have a small get together for me and my niece whose birthday happened to be a few days later. It did happen and what a stage that was..literally! at aapni dhani...on the stage wih the dancers around us and music played in the background and hounded by my sister and cousins doing the same thing, potofying cake on my face.

had a rocking time...the first time that i had such a wonderful birthday..though missed the regular one i used to have with my school buddies coming over and we going out to eat chinese!!

but this change was a welcome one and though missed my buddies am sure will have our kinda party when we have our re union.

back to square one!

2007-08-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

yeh kya ho raha hai !!

this loss must ve reminded dravid of the bad 'ol days ! when he used to b d sole anchor n other big hitters used to get out to leave him with a fifty for a losing cause...

yet again the ppl at d top faltered and d ppl lower down d order had to suffer...tho karthik still came up trumps...remaining not out till d end...

a run out to start with n with gambir as tentative as ever...d pressure was always on dravid n tendlya to perform n score at almost a run a ball to keep hopes of winning alive

tendlya as usual disappointed...n dravid tried but could not get much support from d other end...so it was left to karthik n d others to try n give a fight..which unfortunately they cud not n in d end lost by a huge margin of over 100 runs...

this sets a bad tone for d rest of the series n i feel recovering frm here is nt goin to b all tht easy..but wht the hell..good teams r able to turn tides in their favour n i believe we have one gud team in the makin..lest we can get rid of d stars n get in some performers..its high time d board decided to switch to youngsters..
may b the twenty20 may throw up a few..

am not sayin we will def do well with youngsters but we have seen wht experience has got us.....they have d fear of failure lingerin so hard in their minds tht they cannot see victory at any place n if not got rid of them soon this feeling might sink in with the youngsters too n we wud b the windies..

its time to bid adieu to the likes of tendulkar, ganguly, dravid, n kumble n time to breed in some new talent..
they wud need time to groom n blossom..

now is the best time...!!!!

(India v/s Eng !st ODI - Eng 288/2 - Ind 184 All Out

It keeps getting awkward

2007-07-27T16:14:00.000-07:00

hmm...well it does...esp when she is someone who is related to you.someone you are sure to bump in to quite regularly...what to do now? will someone ever find out?...what if sis finds out? what?

being in the same room is difficult now...we do not look each other in the eye....one due to hatred...other due to other's hatred.....weird isn't it?...naah i say...

to be myself is difficult now...i am conscious...i am controlled...i am different...i am unable to do things as i used to..unable to say what i feel like.....i am unable to act as i am supposed to....how long can we carry on this game? how long can we try and keep it going.....with the chemistry that we had ..to d fun and entertainment we were....is it possible for no one to notice a change there?...

at one point we needed people to ask us to stop talking and leave to now where we need someone around to talk to..coz we do not talk to each other..........how will it work out?...

am nervous..am tensed...

i do not even know if i am over her or not....have i started liking someone already?.....what has happened to me...saying this it self makes me feel so shallow.....how could i? i do not even know about her feelings..i have no clue about mine either..do i hate her still....can i ever get back with her?...will i have to let others know about it?..

its getting awkward....its just keeps getting awkward.........rather awkward !!!

frustrations...fears....

will i be able to love someone as much...will i ever forget her?....will i move on? have i already?

questions...questions...questions....running all over my mind...

just stop thinking and live as if nothing has happened...simple , huh?...

yes it is...until i start thinking about it again !

SIMPLE...SEE TOLD YOU !

the END

2007-07-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

so, it finally came, one that has lasted longer than the other ones. this one wasn't that big a deal when it came to facing life after it. May be i ve become stronger.....naahh who am i am kidding...may be i had experienced it before and thus the effect was less this time. Don't know the answer, but sure can't any damaging consequences. this time I do not want anyone's pity and sympathy....did not want it before too but kind off liked it....this time I am yet to open my heart to someone and bore them with my story....or rather my 'love life'!! as they like calling it.

So what has changed....i do not know....this time i did not even tell her its over....i love technology....u can end a relationship through an SMS !!!...wonder when they will have SMS'es that will read..TALAQ TALAQ TALAQ.. and it will all be over in one go !!...in 1 rupee !!...whoaaa that will be some big day i reckon....

anyway..getting back to my sob story...how it happened?....no one wants to know but i want to say..that's what i like about blogs....cool, eh?

that nite..me and my friend were discussing it..(my 'lowe life' duhh )...and she told me to leave her and stop this mess....told me it would affect me later and she couldn't see me suffer.....was so true....i wouldn't wanna suffer for someone who right at the end moment tells me that dude....u r not the one !!...i mean...WHAT THE &^$% !!!

what have i been doing all this while..trying to make her feel special..trying to give her every inch of my soul..trying to make her happy with whatever little i can......trying to make things work...even without much help from any quarter....and all i asked for in return is some sign which tells me she loves me...is it too much to ask?..
am i asking too much when i say please give me some attention and not the 'boy' you think u like....but r not sure..... am i someone in ur life?....do i have any importance? why do i keep asking myself and you this question again and again...there must be something to it.....

my friend gave me the answer....dude....ur no one in her life....

she is not getting the attention she wants from her guy..so she moved on to you...consciously or uncosciously god knows..but she did....n u r giving her all the attention in d world...may b more.....so she gives u these little hints once a while...n u go bonkers !! ....

n i think.....DUDE I WAS SO DUMB !! how could i not see all this before...how could i let her take advantage of me for so long without realising it...

i do not deserve it .....i do not deserve to be kicked around like this...

she had taken things in her hand far too long....its time i took it back...wrest the powers back in my own hands....so i called it quits !..its over.....nothing new...no new reason...same old.....i did not want to celebrate an anniversary with a girl who does not even know whether she likes me or not...had given her enough time....had taken enough time.............enough is enough........

its over !!

The MAd MAd AD world

2007-05-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

just dont seem to understand them at times....make u sit in office till 12 ..for something that could ve been done before.....next day do not even ask what happened the previous nite...

sit all day n do no work....work happens after lunch....meetings happen during lunch...
n masti happens all day...

office hrs do not exist in their dictionary....we have no timings....its 9 30 onwards !!!

its way past the office time..but no body seems to be ina hurry to go home...all r more than happy to stick around..dont even know if i am cut out for it or not but i still feel good in this industry.....some where somehow i just need to stick around....will find my calling one day !!

in this big MaD mAd Ad world !

WC - 2007

2007-04-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

I don't need words !!

Isn't this attitude showing?

2007-04-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

come on ppl get ur minds to work..

this is just my point of view n somethin tht i thot of when i saw gibbs batting yest

ok c this...these days its the best batsman tht bats at no 4 for most teams and controls the match ...he gets most pressure n due to experience n talent the guy is able to do well.....wht best position to give to sachin than this...

ENG - Pieteren
AUS - Clarke
RSA - GIbbs
NZL - Styris
SRL - Sangakarra
WI - Lara
Pak - Yousuf
IND - Sachin ???

n he says he wants to open coz he is most comfortable there...agreed...but then if he has changed his game then he does not deserve to play at 1 !! look at jayasuriya he has played for almost 16 years himself n hasnt changed his game n even he was'dropped' !!!he came back n has started playin as well as he used to....n still attacks not like Sachin who says his body is not the same nemore...agreed tht can happen but now come on ..do wht the team needs...be a team man...dnt show tht u r a star n will do as u please..lok at Gibbs he was an opener too n no one can argue over his abilities now....he has not even changed his game yet.....he has been asked to be at 4...he dint say a word...there was news goin around tht he may b dropped from the side...wht does he do...he plays well....he was scoring centuries when this news was doin the rounds....

so all u Sachin fans...i think he is showin attitude..n being starry...rules r same for all... if u have changed ur game suiting ur needs...then the team can also do so to suit the nations needs...n U dnt come between the teams's needs...

AS PUT IN HIS OWN WORDS...TEAM COMES BEFORE SELF !!!

ITS TIME HE PRACTICES WHAT HE PREACHES !!!!!

Should Sachin retire?

2007-04-05T10:39:00.001-07:00

hmm....well u may say that who r we to decide or suggest?..right...but then who made Sachin wht he is today in our minds? we....we deserve to question him...we expect it from him coz he has been delivering it...so how come now he has this sudden pressure...n if he cannot take this pressure...then plz leave the field....i never told u to go n become this genius !!...who can do no bad !!!

n now if u have kept their expectations alive for so many years dont tell me u cnt fulfill them now......

if u can't cope up with the increasing pressure plz get up n leave !!
we have a 100 others dyin to come in..unless a Gavaskar leaves u cnt a Sachin..n unless a sachin leaves u wont c a ........... !!

Keep Walking ! - Well done guys...good one !

2007-04-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

I saw this ad recently on a bus stop nr Mahim...it was a Johnie Walker ad...it just moved me so much that i had to share it with u people.

It read....DEFEAT.....n over it the famous slogan....(Keep Walking)

3 words but a killa effect it had one me....

thats why I just thought to myself....I think we should move on and stop playing the blame game!!

Why do we believe whatever Chappell says?

2007-04-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

Hey guys I think this is not fair. we believe every word of what this Chappell is saying. Does this mean we have no faith in our cricketers. I know that these things have never been this transparent but how can we question their integrity and not question Chappell's intentions?

How dare we say that, Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly have attitude problems and they do not allow youngsters, when it is very well known that Ganguly is the guy who built a team broken by match fixing scandals..Remember Jadeja & Azhar leaving our team beleaguered and others going out ?...It is not easy to fill such a big void but he did a splendid job.

How can we then question them and their attitude....had this been the case, the fallout would have come a long time back..may be when Wright was at the helm.

This Chappell is here to ruin Indian Cricket...and he is taking full advantage of us no being united about this issue. We do not trust our own players who have given their all and have sacrificed so much for the nation....ya agreed they have got good returns as far as money is concerned but I am sure a lot of effort has gone in even coming upto this level...it is not fluke.....so I think it's time we give them their due respect . Let's forgive them for their mistake...and move on !!!

What is this?

2007-03-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

Why this weird feeling?
Why can't you decide?
Why can I not let it affect me?
Why do I feel so insecure about you?
Why do I trust you and not trust you?
Why do I always feel I might not be the chosen one?
Why do I doubt myself?
Why am i not clear of what I want in life?
Why am I not sure how to go about doing things?
Why can I not find things the way others can?
Why do I sometimes feel I am dumb?
Why at times I feel inferior with smart people around me?
Why do I act smart?
Why do I do all these things?
Why have I never got an answer for all this?
Why do I look to blame things on others?
Why do I make such careless mistakes?
Why?
Why do I ask GOD all these questions?
Why do I have this hope that I will still be a success?
Why do I still believe I am smart enough?
Why do I have these days of lack of self belief?
Why?
Why?
Why do I not believe in GOD, yet feel there is some connection between the two of us?
Why do people think I am unpredictable?
Why do I love her so much?
Why do I miss my sister so much?
Why do I think so much?
Why am I writing this?
Why do I not want people to read this?

End of an Era

2007-03-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

That's what it feels like. these three years have just vanished. I feel like reliving these years again. College is over, someone shake me, I still do not feel it. I don't want to experience it.

Soon we will all be working and all this talk of staying in touch and meeting up and calling and chilling out together will fizzle out. Everyone will be in a world of their own, no one will have time for you. Some will be gone to another country to study, some will be busy with their corporate jobs, some have their boyfriends and girlfriends, some have other groups. All this will not be the same anymore.

Want to make the most of it now, but I know I cannot. Life has come to a weird turn. i do not know where am I headed next. I want a secure future, I am for the first time in my life feeling insecure about my future. I do not know whether I will be successful story or not, whether I will be able to do what people expect from me and most importantly what I expect from myself.

Can I do what I had set out to in the beginning. When I had joined BMM it was for sports journalism !! Now I am not even part of Journalism, people believe I can do Advertising. I told them to believe me. Now what ?

Where should I start from?

Lots of things are at stake. Two lives, two futures are in my hand. Can I handle them? What will happen? I have to win that bet to keep my self respect, to keep the faith he has shown in me.

The Xavierite!

2007-02-12T00:38:00.000-08:00

7 years ago I walked in here,

did not get admission, was in despair,

thought it would be nice if I got in here,

Its been 3 years now since am here,

what shall happen now is the fear,

as we end our college life and enter the world,

out of this world of fantasy, right into reality,

soon we will face the brutality,

will soon disappear in the crowd,

we should, we are supposed to standout,

why are we then so skeptical,

about what the future beholds for us,

it hasn’t struck us yet,

but we shall soon move away and forget,

our last few weeks in Xavier’s,

and we do not feel a thing,

do you realize we are evaporating?

Acting busy, running around, tight schedules,

Busy in our own worlds,

Care a damn about the world,

Ready to go out there and start making money,

Is this what all we came here for,

Is this what Xavier’s has taught us,

are we really just money –minded?

Looking for jobs,

Going for every interview,

Ready to fly out of the country,

Let’s just sit back for a few moments,

Relive those memories,

Those happy days of college life,

Our first year of ignorance and enthusiasm,

Second year of victory and seniority,

Third year of responsibility,

These days shall never return,

Our days of fun are ending,

Life’s going to get boring and monotonous,

What we end up doing later,

Not many of us have a clue about that,

But we all want to succeed in life,

That’s what it has come to,

We took a lot from this college,

Do we have anything to give in return?

be a good citizen of this country,

and make your parents proud,

that would be the gift, Xavier’s deserves from all of us,

a humble request from a fellow Xavierite,

I hope I do it too and do it right,

Enough I’ve said, now let me get back,

To prove myself and create a name,

And let them feel proud of me,

I shall come back, Xavier’s will call me.

- a soon-to-be-Ex-Xavierite !

Frustrations

2007-01-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

One day or the other we will bear the brunt of somebody else's frustrations.

Don't you think i have enough of it that you want me to hear you out about your frustrations. i know you are frustrated with me and so am I. I ve had enough of you and You ve had enough of me. I think the time has come when we need to part our ways. Should I move out or are you leaving this city, Dad !!!!!!!!!!!

On India's performance in South Africa

2006-12-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

This article is the one which was put up on www.cricinfo.com.
Wrote it after India's third loss of the tournament in the recently concluded One day Series in Sotuh Africa.

Well, to start off with let me tell you, this performance by the Indian team does not come as a surprise to me because time and again this has happened with Indian Cricket. Top players go out of form but the board is just not ready to replace some of them with in-form batsmen, no matter how good or bad they are. They not only that, they keep defending them. What happens then ?
These players take their place in the team for granted and their attitude is pathetic; to say the least. There is a lot of politics that goes in behind the selection of players. I feel due to the amount of money involved and the company's reputation of those who sponsor them being at stake they tend to keep those players in the team. That is the reason you see a complete lack of application by the batsmen and a totally senseless batting performance. They do not realise that they have been chosen out of a lot of 1 billion people and if they do not play even 1 good innings there are about 50 odd players ready to take their place and would give their heart and soul to play for the nation. It just seems like within a year of them being in the team they start forgetting that it's their priviledge to play for the country, they are not doing us a favour. This is the attitude that we fans hate and that is the reason we get angry, and our outrage is totally justified. They have no business to tell us that we are overreacting, I would take it if it comes from the mouth of say a Dravid or Bhajji or Kumble who I know are trying their level best and giving it their all, but not from players like Kaif, Raina, Agarkar or Sehwag, who seem to be not affected by the team's poor performance and are more interested in going for safari rides !!!!!

If this is the way it will go on then I feel we might need the services of Mr. Vengsarkar and Gavaskar very soon, who are already there in Africa, probably waiting for a test recall !!!!!!

The Xavier’s Experience

2006-12-16T14:10:00.000-08:00

What I began with and where have reached now. It all started as a journey towards finding a meaning for my life. Engineering had changed my life completely, definitely for the worse. I was doing something I had no clue about and something I would never pursue later in life. God knows why then did I choose it in the beginning. Anyway all said and done life had taken a complete u-turn. I had being it all right from square one.
Three years of engineering all gone down the drain? Well, not quite. Had learnt from my mistakes, my decisions, my interests, all these had to be taken care of now and I would be wholly and solely responsible for my life from here onwards. There is no point in regretting later and blaming someone else for ruing my life.
This has become quite preachy and sad, quite unlike me, am sure my friends would vouch for this. Ok so here I was doing BMM, luckily got through to Xavier’s, my dream destination. May be I was supposed to come here sometime in my life hence when I failed to do so for my JC was expectedly disappointed and always thought that it would be my biggest loss. Luckily enough not my loss.
Luck was certainly in my favour because that year only the university decided to increase the seats for BMM to 20 per college and I got in only because of that, there’s more, it only happened that year, never before in its history nor anytime later were more than 60 students allowed to join BMM. I had joined this course thinking that it definitely is simpler than Engg and atleast I would be able to get an all clear here! I used to make fun of my sister who did the same course by calling is Bachelor of Moj Masti. That’s what it seemed to be in the beginning, what with all simple class projects and subjects like communications skills where you get a comprehension in your exam, now frankly tell me on what basis would you call that tough !!!!
And trust me after doing engineering you will find most stuff very simple, atleast it would seem simple. Soon years went by, semesters came and turned the tide. Soon I was in my second year and would be choosing my major next year. Reality struck me !!!!
I had to start racking my brains, put more thought in my projects and may be listen to a few smart people around and get some counseling, all in vain!
Finally decided to go with Advertising. So how did Xavier’s change me? Well I used to call myself “half an engineer and half a media man” in the second year. Now I refrain myself from using the word engineer even for the slightest of things. It gives me nightmares. I still wonder how I managed to scrape through 4-5 exams that I managed to pass. Now getting back to Xavier’s, firstly I got a first class in my very first semester. I can still recall the day I gave my first exam of semester 1 when my hands were shivering writing the exam. My confidence level was at its lowest, had all answers in my mind but my pen refused to budge. I somehow managed to write the answers and was so tensed as if I was giving some IIT entrance exam. Xavier’s gave me that confidence, that belief, the self belief was back, I had found people with similar interests and vastly talented, I still remember seeing the Xavier’s culture made me feel nice to be part of this prestigious college. It definitely has that something extra. People laying their guitars, groups of people singing in one corner, surrounded by all creative people gave me that good feeling, something I had never experienced before. It gave me international exposure.
I happened to be part of the group chosen by SIFE to go for the 3 month Internship in the USA. That was a life changing experience. It instilled great confidence in me.

Never Before

2006-11-13T02:50:00.000-08:00

Never before have I done this,
Never before have I felt like this;
This one girl has shaken me over,
She hit my ego and hurt my pride;
I thought we were in for a big fight,
You mockingly kicked me and I got it hard,
I thought it was early..uhmm just a tard;
You asked for my thoughts and here I am penning them for you,
Never before have I done this..believe me its true;
What would I write I thought,
but the pen moved and I began to jot;
At first you seemed like an innocent,sweet, good looking girl,
But later did I find that you are not just that but a real pearl;
In you I found a friend of mine,
Longing for whom I was sometime;
I spoke, you heard, I spoke , you heard,
May be that's what you preferred;
Cherish every moment spent with you,
feels like the most well spent moment;
Such is your importance in my life,
not even sure you realize;
Don't even know what I feel for you,
Crush..Imfatuation..uhmm definitely something more;
So much of my feelings, thoughts, enough didn't we see?
Now let's hear what's your part of this story ?

Ending it this way

2006-11-13T02:34:00.000-08:00

Can't imagine that things between us ended in such a way. She was the love of my life, I had dreamt of living my whole life with her and now its all over. All the lovely memories have gone down the drain. Never ever thought that it would be so bad. When it started the whole world seemed like a great place, almost heaven. things we shared, the way she cared, our thoughts, our feelings, the mutual love and respect, I thought she was my ideal woman. The one who would be my partner for life, one who would be my strength, one who gave my life a new direction a new meaning, she was someone for whom i was ready to sacrifice everything, I was ready to lead, accept my responsibilties, was looking forward to living with her sharing life's experiences.
Will I miss her ? Surely I will, I am doing so now. Life seems empty without her, there is no motivation, no reason to live and succeed in life. for whom should i achieve all this, wanted to give her the best life possible, wanted her to be proud of me, wanted to show her the world through my eyes, wanted her to be part of my own small world.
All dreams shattered, I am living a loner's life. Life is moving at a slow pace, things have lost their colour, friends don't cheer me up now. The smile on my face is fake, the feeling of happiness has wandered somewhere.
Felt betrayed at one point, feel lost now. Was she really my ideal girl, was it meant to be like this way ? Will she come back to me ? Will I ever be able to love someone again, will i do justice to somebody's love for me ? Will I be loyal to someone, Will I be able to trust anyone ?
A lot of questions unanswered by me, a lot of questions unanswered by her !!

Family comes first, Love does not come at all !!!!!!!!!!!

Feelings, thoughts and some questions !

2006-10-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Relationship ! A relationship with a person has changed me completely. The time we were together, the time we are spending away from each other. To tell yourself that it is all over sounds simple and was easy at the first go. Takes you a few days and you re back to normal, its only at the later stage when you bump into the person or hear or talk about her that you realise that it hasn't gone. the feling still exists and no matter how hard you try you just cannot forget the person. So how do others say that they have moved on. How is it possible ?
The time you have spent cannot be forgotten, the memories you share, can you just let it go? Is it possible for an individual to have control over one's feelings for a person? Can you after sometime have absolutely no feelings for the person ? How does it feel to know that what you had with that special person is all gone and is over now, you need to forget it all and may be hope to live your life with someone else and also be true to that person. Love someone else !!!!!!!
I certainly believe that you can love only one person in your life and that is the one whom you spend your life with. How can you even think of having relationships which have no meaning and you are on a trial basis and you are just seeing if it works out or not !!!
This theory really baffles me, how do you say that after a break up that it did not work out. God damn, make it work. You love the person and hence you are together and now how the hell do you say that you are leaving her ! Weird things happen in this world, people have their own thoughts and beliefs and we do is argue and ponder what if ! We do not live in an ideal world and not all that happens is good. At this moment of time what you see is a confused state of mind. A mind that is not thinking straight, a mind that is not talking and making sense !
A few more topics to write about. Guess have an opinion on a lot of topics and shall share it with you guys soon !

Why its high time?

2006-10-18T23:52:00.000-07:00

Well this was something that was long overdue and i had been planning to make my blog since a few months. As they say better late than never. So now I would put in all my thoughts, my views, opinions and all shit that I think or I write down. Its good to have some virtual presence. there are so many things going on in my mind right now and I just needed to put them in ink. Well this is not exactly ink but I guess suits me fine. saves me all the trouble of looking for a proper pad and then saving it all in a safe place where I can may be refer to it later sometime !
My first post. Not exactly though, had a blog a year ago then lost the password and this US trip mad me forget eveyrthing, did not post anything for a while and it all went. Was too bored at that time to re type all those posts again on to a new blog, but then I thought no dude, you gotta work it out n start blogging. Its fun, ain't it ?