Monday, October 21, 2013

I'm not defending Ishant nor am I ridiculing him

Ishant Sharma trolls are all over the internet. Some asking him to retire, other asking him to commit suicide while others simply have lots of adjectives around his name.

This is a typical cricket fan's outrage that you see. Its widespread and instant thanks to Whatsapp, Twitter and other social media. I got my first Ishant meme minutes after the match got over. It was the Ishant asking kaun bola target 360 tha forward. I was bemused for a little while but after that it was pure torture. With people imagining what might have happened inside the dressing room, while some poking fun at how how his mother and sister would be the two most popular people who were being remembered, etc.

It reminded me of what happened during the 2003 World Cup in South Africa where India started off on a bad note. There we effigies being burnt of cricketers, houses being attacked and the whole situation was almost as if some religious sentiments had been hurt. I felt as if we had gone back a decade and decided to behave as hooliganistically as we could.

Let me assure you here that I, as much a cricket fan as the paan wala you see at the nukkad who decides to delay your pan/cigarette only to hear the commentary of Sachin hitting that boundary off a Brett Lee scorcher. I, too, was as disappointed in Ishant when he bowled those howlers one after the other, seeing how effortlessly Faulkner rocked on the backfoot and pulled each one of those short balls for huge sixes. What was baffling me at that moment was that how come no other bowler/fielder came up to him to suggest something or may be just give him a tap on his shoulder telling him that they believed he could still pull off this one. The fact that he kept bowling balls half way down the pitch even after being dispatched like the luggage thrown on the baggage carousel of an Air India flight was prof that he was completely clueless. May be a session with Stuart Broad on how to recover from such blunders could help him cope up! But I am pretty sure Broad did not have to bear the brunt of the insult, the kind Indian fans dish out.

So to summarize I just wanted to post this as an opinion that Ishant Sharma may not have played his last match in the Indian jersey as may be the suggestion but the thousands of whatsappers. He still is India's leading wicket taker and the most experienced One Day bowler in the current squad. Agreed that Ishant hasn't done anything of great significance lately to keep him here for too long but take a look at the options at your disbursal and you will know why I say that.

A mentally unfit - Praveen Kumar
A perpetually injured Varun Aaron
A mysterious injury-prone Umesh Yadav
An average medium pacer Shami Mohammad
The big-leap-but-pace-no-line-no-length Ashoke Dinda
A bowler who Wasim Akram hails as the best left-armer in India but Dhoni doesn't think so Jaidev Unadkat
Yet to be tested Ishwar Pandey and Siddharth Kaul
And last but not the least
Where the fuck did this guy go after the World Cup Munaf Patel!!

Who do you think should make a comeback? Should we ask Sir Ajit Agarkar to may be re-think?

Thursday, September 26, 2013

The incomplete story

This is an incomplete story,
Of the one that gets away,

She still runs all over my mind,
Making things difficult than they are,

She does not want to join me now,
But I have saved her some space on the ride,

The trip is fun, as unplanned it may be,
I am waiting for the right company to step on the accelerator,

The map is drawn, the stops are marked,
Her approval is awaited though.

The journey is long and tiring,
We might even get old on the way,

But that's the plan and am hoping she hops on,
Shhh..but don't tell her yet, she's still making up her mind!

The confusion remains...

What is it that happens every single time,
What is it that triggers this reaction,

It seems unfathomable to me,
It seems unrealistic to me,

The signs have all been leading,
Then why is the heart bleeding,

Not once did I turn back,
Nor did I move away a minute,

Yet, the feelings did not reach,
It didn't cross the border, it didn't breach,

Now as I wait for the tides to change,
I, also look at my former self,

Not much has remained the same,
Not much has changed,

I still go by the same name,
I still play the same game!


Thursday, May 02, 2013

Kohli's body language gave it away

This happened in the match between Royal Challengers Bangalore and Mumbai Indians in Mumbai at the Wankhede stadium.

Kieron Pollard was on strike to Vinay Kumar, Pollard hit the call to mid-off and Ambati Rayudu was backing up. Kohli who with a direct throw a ball earlier had got Dinesh Karthik run-out, hit the stumps once again. Vinay Kumar in trying to get behind the stumps somehow got Rayudu in a tangle which made him raise the bat at the same time as the ball hit the wicket. Kohli appealed and eventually the umpire gave it out, the Mumbaikars started chanting 'cheater cheater' for Kohli as it was unsporting of him to run the batsman out since it was the bowler whose leg struck Rayudu's bat and made him go out of the crease after it was in the first time. To understand how it happened, see it for yourself below: Watch from 11:10 to 11:45.

Whatever may be the people's reaction to what Kohli did on the filed or what transpired between him and the Mumbai Indians supporters, what I did not appreciate was the arrogant body language that Virat Kohli expressed during the post match presentation. (From 4:01:54 to 4: 03: 21)

Now, I may be reading too much into the body language but also pay heed to the words he uses and how he dismisses the opposition. One ignore the aggressive stance for confidence or consider it a sign of arrogance. It is something that is open for debate. Take a look at Kohli, arms on his waist, chest a little out, not a smile but a smirk on his face. He is not holding anything back and is in a very defensive mode. His words are also as sharp as a big knife. He does mince any words in attacking the opposition. He defends his team mates which is a good thing as a captain but completely ignoring his team's lack of a good middle-order will not help RCB in the long run.

I best love his aggression on the field. There are, of course, people who think that his abusive ways are not justified at all, but I think its part of his personality. I mean, if his way of showing aggression is by abusing how does it matter. He is obviously not abusing anyone, and definitely not bad mouthing any players. For eg. when he got his Test match hundred he did say B^&*$%^#D, but was it to someone? No!

I, for one, think it is a bit of the arrogant nature that Kohli has managed to tone down a bit since his Under-19 days. The man is known to have a hot temper, just like his Delhi-team mate Gautam Gambhir with whom he had a small tiff a few weeks ago. What I see as bad body language could just be a defensive and a little angry Kohli though!




Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The dream walk

For a city that never sleeps waking up on a chilly Sunday morning at 5:30 am must have been a task. No wonder then that the 'Spirit of Mumbai' was the thing that was the most talked about at the annual Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2013!

For a city that is known to be rude, lazy, insensitive, full of workaholics and most leading a very unhealthy lifestyle it was a pleasure to see thousands assembling at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus right on time for a 42 km marathon!

I, myself a hardcore Mumbaikar, never fail to come up with an excuse for arriving late at meetings/dates/office, etc surprisingly made it on time for the start of the race. Although, let me admit, I was there for the poor man's marathon, also known as 'The Dream run'. It was a mere 6km run which was to begin at 9:00 am. I tried to hide my embarrassment by not letting most of my friends/acquaintances know that I was going for it by shying away from putting up pictures or posts about it on Facebook. Because, let's face it, how tough is it to run/walk 6 kms on empty and clean Mumbai roads, especially in comparison with those running the 42 and 21 kms!

My dream run or rather the dream walk as I would like to call it, was sponsored by my company. It garnered good response with about 50-60 mostly 30+ people making it on the day. With NGO banners in one hand and shouts of 'Mumbai Mumbai' we all looked like a bunch of protesters out to fight some MNC trying to overtake our city.

That embarrassment apart, what I saw were some very interesting scenes. As our battalion started moving ahead from the start line, we saw other athletes on the other side of the road about to complete their marathons. There were hoardes of Mumbaikars who had come to support those who were running and merely cheer the others. I saw some really old people running, a man in his 80s suffering from Parkinsons disease running for a charity that supported such patients. A lady running with a chair in her hand was the reason for a lot of amusement until people found out that she was carrying the chair for an old man running right behind her being. Helped by his assistant and a friend, this man could've easily stayed at home and relaxed with his grand kids but he decided against it.

There were some who had already started discussing where to eat after the run gets over, some women were overheard planning a 'dessert marathon' since they had burnt a hell lot of calories! A few giggles here, a few laughters there, some being sarcastic about people coming in for a 6 km run and calling themselves marathoners and some admiring the spirit of the audience who came in to watch and cheer.

Amidst this, there were a bunch of school kids standing at a turn with their guitars and mouth organs and lovely voices, waiting to greet the runners. An orphanage had set-up a small deck with 8-9 year-old singing old hindi film songs. It was a good fun walk and although it seemed like the SCMM guys had marketed the marathon well enough to get TV show guys to perform gigs and stuff, it was also a time to see the average Mumbaikar come out on a Sunday morning, walk and run with their friends and family, albeit in the name of 'Spirit of Mumbai' or to post on their Facebook walls 'I finished the Mumbai Marathon' etc, etc

Faith in the 'fun' Mumbaikar was restored and even though it lasted a couple of hours, it gave a lot of us that sense of accomplishment, that smile on our face, that reason to celebrate, that we had done something good today! This city sometimes needs such moments to come out and live life normally. Thanks, SCMM 2013!


Thursday, January 10, 2013

Koi toh batao usse

Koi toh jaaye aur bataye usse,
Main jee raha hoon khushi se,
Kabhi kabhi dard jab hota hai,
Pee jaata hoon khud hi ki marzi se,
Dekh kar uski harkatein puchta hoon khud se,
Ki kisse maine pyar kiya,
Kya yehi woh ek hasi thi,
Jiske liye main ab bhi ghut raha hoon,
Usse toh zara bhi fikar nahin,
Bas main hi hoon jo jee kar bhi mar raha hoon,
Chahta hoon ki koi toh bataye usse,
Ki haal theek nahin hain mere,
Magar phir yeh khayal aata hai,
Ki kya usse qadar bhi hai meri,
Main hi hoon jo ab tak uski yaad mein,
Aansu yunhi baha raha hoon,
Usse toh padi bhi nahin hai meri,
Ki main jee raha hoon ya mar gaya hoon,
Mere marne ke baad bhi khabar na dena yaaron,
Shayad tab bhi main khud hi batane chala jaun.

Monday, January 07, 2013

What if a band was to take over another band?

They say comedy comes when you think of different situations, mix them up with something and imagine the outcome. This is one of the rules of stand-up artist. If you notice, all they do is paint you a picture of a 'what if..' and then go crazy with it.

I too, want to try my hand at stand-up and one day will. But until then I can try and think of such situation and may be give an idea to someone who is looking for one!

So, the other day I was just thinking about how companies take over companies and then change everything that was good about the company they just over took. What if bands were to do the same thing and what would the outcome be like? Have you ever imagined? Let me pair some similar artists and bands and wonder what were to happen...what if...

Boyzone was to take over say Metallica, what would happen if Pritam took over PSY, or Bappi Da took over Michael Jackson...can you imagine the bizarre collaborations!

A Beat it style Ooh La La Ooh La La, Metallica getting all gayed with Words kinda music or may be the other way around, Words getting on a full on metal feel! An Indian version of Gangnam style, imagine Gangnam style in Ganpati style music, full on with Nashik Dhols,

I am literally getting the jitters! The possibilities are just amazing.

These take overs can go onto a different theme and the final outcomes even crazy.For example, imagine a sport taking over another sport. Football players taking over Hockey, Cricket being taken over by Squash. Imaging how much running the lazy cricketers will have to do, the ball size changes dramatically, imagine Football guys asking Hockey players to stop the ball with their feet!

Ok, this might not be funny but can be injurious actually, but what the hell!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Why the rain wouldn't stay

This year it hasn't rained as much as it usually does in Mumbai. The reason, unknown. I decided to put a thought to this and came up with the following.

Imagine the rain clouds to be a little kid wanting to play with new friends. 'You' being the new friend. Every year a new cloud forms, aka a new kid comes down wanting to play with us. What do we do instead? We open up our umbrellas. We cover ourselves. We wear jackets and go in disguise so that he does not recognize us. We shun all the excitement and eagerness the new kid has.

We go hide in our cars, we go find a building with a roof that can protect us. The new kid must feel like the sick child who comes down to play with us in the building and we because of our protective mothers would not go near him or let him touch us. 

Why then would he pour down? Why then will he open up and burst with joy? Why then will he smile and make that sacrifice?

Go welcome him. Play in the rains. Get wet in the monsoon. Hold someone's hand and go meet the new kid. 

It seems someone has made the effort, the rain God is happy now and has sent some more kids to have fun. It's raining in Mumbai today!